Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Fundraising for...Angry Birds?

While I'm still a SAHM, I might as well make the best of it by diving head first into my child's PTA fundraiser, right? Because he got this packet last week, and all he has to do is sell ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY rolls of wrapping paper and holiday nut tins to get an e-reader just like his friend Stephen has, and CAN I DO IT MOM, CAN I CAN I CAAAAN IIIIIIII?!

He was standing before me with a look of desperation so ridiculous that only a 5 year-old high on fruit roll ups could conjure it.Thinking on my feet, I glanced back in the fundraising envelope and saw something red and unibrow-y. I slid it out and placed it in front of my son's wrinkling-with-fury-and-disappointment face.

Angry Birds.



"What?! What is THIS, Mom?!"

I looked at the sheet and read him the details:

"WIN the Angry Bird for the day! One coupon will be drawn each day to win the Angry Bird plush for the day. The winner's class can take him/her to the lunchroom, gym, library, etc. At the end of the sale, the top seller gets to take this 12-inch plush Angry Bird home!"


He was thrilled to death and lay prostrate on the floor to really drive the point home.

But I didn't understand the wording exactly, so I looked back over it again:

"...win the Angry Bird plush for the day..."

and then:

"...at the end of the sale, the top seller gets to take THIS 12-inch plush Angry Bird home..."

Is it registering for you, now, too?

Because essentially, they're enticing these children with the promise of winning a toy that will be TAKEN AWAY at the end of the day and then GIVEN TO SOMEONE ELSE and then after this is repeated for TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT, some lucky kid gets to take the germ-infested, lice-breeding, cafeteria-gravy-sporting $10 stuffed animal home.

So I've decided we're going for the e-reader instead. Let me know if you'd like to order some motherloving wrapping paper for Pete's sake.