Tuesday, July 17, 2012

My (NSFW) Magic Mike (GIF) Review

I saw Magic Mike yesterday, you guys. I initially had little-to-no interest in seeing this movie, and couldn't even really understand why Channing Tatum was such a heartthrob. But when a group of friends planned to see it as part of a girls' day out, I jumped at the chance. I mean, strippers are fun, right? Am I not a woman? Do I not have needs to see gyrating, waxed men dry hump in dim lighting?

Well alright then.

I went into the film expecting to see the underbelly of the stripping world. Reviews talked about the depressing parts of the movie, which had so much more to it than half-naked hunky men. This would be life-affirming, I thought. We'd learn a thing or two about stereotypes, at least.

And right off the bat, I was impressed. Channing is a good actor, and the pace of the film is quick and intriguing. In fact, at one point I looked down to see where I had dropped my nacho chip and whether it had, in fact, stained my pants. When I looked up, I saw this.


Around that moment, I started noticing the women in the crowd during this particular scene in the movie. They were loud. They were excited. And they were, essentially being paid to watch Channing dance LIKE THE WIND. How'd they stumble upon THAT gig, I wondered.



Then I get distracted.



Matthew McConaughey's character is the owner of the club, and he's completely insane and probably strung out for the entire movie. At one point there is a (funny) joke made by Channing about how his babies will probably end up wearing snakeskin diapers.



Half the time, I'm expecting him to start making out with one of the other strippers. It's very homo-erotic. Then there's some more of this.


And this.



Not even halfway through the film, Channing gets a love interest, but then things go dark when he realizes his career is keeping him from reaching his dreams of banging a friend's sister. There's also the issue of having threesomes with Olivia Munn. So he goes on a bender of sorts and then channels his anger into a new routine that looks something like this.



And this.


Then I turned and giggled to be friend, because we think we heard the word "cock" and when I looked back, there was some of this.


Afterwards, there another dark twist involving the owner of the strip club, and Channing abruptly leaves after his set. We soon find out that he has decided to quit the stripper lifestyle so he can go to Denny's with his co-worker's sister. After they have sex first.

Then movie is pretty much over and we're all sitting there like this.


I would highly recommend this film.