Tuesday, July 10, 2012


I don't always remember my dreams, but when I do, they tend to be odd, which is nothing special in particular. Dreams are odd by nature. It's the REMEMBERING that is odd, you see, which is why I take care to document these prophecies of my subconscious, in case they, one day, present me with the clarity and presence of mind that one seeks in a lifetime.

Or, you know, something.

Anyway, the other morning I awoke with the vivid recollection of two separate dreams, which I will retell for you here.

The TomKat Dream

In this dream, I was back in New York and found myself at the Nyack mall in New Jersey. I was with my mother and some friends, I believe, and we approached some sort of bakery kiosk for some coffee and a snack. That's when I spotted Katie Holmes and Suri. She wasn't flounced by paparazzi or security guards, and in fact, she seemed to join our group as if she were an old friend from high school. (She's not.)

Around this time, I somehow knew, and recalled, that Tom Cruise was ALSO in the mall that day filming a movie. Being excellent at logical deduction, and reality fabrication, I immediately thought of Amber and my MamaPop post that was due the following day. I was going to get a scoop! TomKat spotted together for the first time since their split! MamaPop was going to launch to the top of pop culture snark commentary! WE'D ALL BE MILLIONAIRES! I started texting Amber furiously, and had my camera ready to take a shot.

That's when Tom sauntered up to the food counter. I watched Katie's every move. They spotted each other, and Katie gave Tom a smirk and an eyebrow waggle. FASCINATING, I scribbled in a notebook that suddenly appeared in my hand. Tom smirked back and walked over to Katie to have a chat, which I could not quite overhear. When he left, Katie came back over to us and was all, "that was awkward."

Then, without saying a word, I stuck my phone in her face and took a picture, sending it directly to Amber.

fade to black

The Therapy Dream

A little backstory: I recently started seeing a new therapist here in Texas. (I didn't go with the one whose office resembled a church, in case you were curious.) Part of the reason why it took me so long is because I LOVED my New York therapist so much, that I was pretty sure finding someone of equal caliber would be a longshot. Eventually I caved, however, when my husband pointed out that I hadn't left the house in three days and where are the children?

In filling out the paperwork before my initial appointment, I had to recall the name of my psychiatrist in New York. I had always called him Mr. Rooney, myself, so I had to do a little Internet digging. (Yes, this is the guy who got his degree in Guatemala.) WELL. You know what I found out? Not only is he no longer affiliated with my therapist's office, but he's now working at a CHIROPRACTOR'S.

(The hell? Is he on the run? What if he actually IS Ed Rooney?!)

Needless to say, this must have triggered my subconscious into action.

::begin dream sequence::

I was back in New York, but this time in my home town, and specifically in the parking lot of my former therapist's office. It was kind of like A Christmas Carol, where I could see everything, but no one could see me. Minus the ghosts. And Christmas. And Bill Murray.

ANYWAY, I watched from the parking lot as my therapist arrived for work that day. It was overcast and early, and there was no one parked in the lot. She was hurrying, though, and ran-walked to the storefront to quickly unlock the door. I got a bit closer and peered in through the front window. What I saw was bizarre. (Go figure.) The waiting room contained a bunch of blankets, and more or less appeared to be functioning as someone's bedroom. I squinted a bit more and then saw my therapist lean over a man who was just waking up amidst the blankets. She felt his head and asked him how he was feeling. It was...her husband.


Then I also spotted a baby carrier, so evidently their youngest child was living there as well. I could not make sense of it. Had they had a fight? Was he going to stay there as patients arrived? Is that room safe for a freakin' BABY?

Then a tour guide appeared at my right hand side. She asked me and a group, which had also suddenly appeared behind me, if we had seen the therapist arrive for work. I pointed toward the office and told the guide that she was inside. The guide made a face that suggested contempt and then waved us onward to the next tourist attraction with her black umbrella.

fade to black

Um, so, yeah.


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