Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Who's Got Two Thumbs & 500 Posts?

I'm not normally into celebrating milestones on the blog, but this here is my 500th post. And it just so happens to roughly coincide with our first full year in Tay-Has.

It's kind of begging for recognition.

This blog has documented my second child (coming in the midst of my Masters coursework), my reemergence into society after becoming a hermit of motherhood, horrific social skills, my joining of MamaPop and The Mouthy Housewives, my first two BlogHers, our frickin' EPIC move from NY to TX, and, of course, the very many and terrifying ways Texas has tried to kill both myself and my family.

Ain't that somethin'

Anyway, I thought we'd take a look back at the images from the past year or so. See all gajillion of the photos after the jump...

This was the time I got an enema in front of my new neighbors.

And the time we had cute bunnies in the backyard until T9 started finding and PLAYING WITH rabbit poop.

The delivery of a snake to our front door by an asshole bird.

Buying a house triggered my newborn PTSD.

Wall-E is from Texas.

The start of my most favorite Twitter exchange EVER...see below.

HAHAHAHHA.Ahhh, vaginas.

Then I finally found a Texas hairstylist...

And I totally hated it.

And then I went to San Diego for BlogHer and this was the only picture I took.

Who can forget the day I was maybe almost in a porno movie?

Or the Fort Worth Zoo that comes with THOUSANDS of aggressive, killer bee hybrids!

Then I got to meet Ms. Yvonne of Yo Mama's Blog. We went to see Duran Duran. It was hot.

And the Internet tried to tell me a freak show.

Which...my husband seemed to agree with when he told me my freckles make me look like a member of this family.

And, look! We got to wear long sleeves in Texas once!

And I got dressed up and went out in public once!

At Christmastime, we unwittingly drove to the rich area of North Texas to buy a Christmas tree.

We thought that maybe Texas imported them from the Alps.

Forever Lazy. 'Nuff said.

Then there was my infatuation with skinny jeans.

They still don't make me look like this.

Followed by the time I began to wonder if my home was haunted.

Which T9 seemed to confirm.

So I did the only logical thing and bought...ridiculous sneakers.

Which is around the time the nightmares started.

The I'VE LOST MY PASSPORT nightmares.

Which was obviously my self-conscious telling me that I'd never make it out of Texas alive.

Hey! Remember when I got kicked out of a contest! THAT WAS SO FUNNY!

Then I had a birthday and forgot my age.

And my cat came down with an emotional problem.


And we had to fire our bug man.


And this was spotted nearby.


Then my husband nearly made us millionaires.

But it didn't work out.

And OMFG toddler soccer.

We basically dressed up to go sit on the sidelines in the blistering heat.

And then I'm reminded that my house may be haunted.

Oh, and, HEY! I still have Dr. Bill Sears' frickin' PHONE NUMBER!

Oh, and I converted to a Texas Rangers fan...and appear to be getting cancer on my nose.

And one time I went to Anthropologie and realized I am way old.

Which wasn't worse than the time my boys and I were ABDUCTED, for like, 3 minutes.

And Plus One revealed he likes the smell of toxins.

Then there was the wasp confrontation.

And, um, the demon bug. Ahem.

Which may or may not have left an egg sac behind for us.

And this Butterfly of Death paid us a visit, which was nice and foreboding.

But then some Texan threw a donut at my husband, and all seems right with the world again.

Thanks for reading, friends! Here's to another 500 posts. (If Texas doesn't kill us first.)