Wednesday, June 20, 2012

The Texas Donut Toss

I'm still learning the ropes here in Texas, but I'm trying my best to blend in. I've become a Rangers fan, I went to a hair salon that was full of leopard print, and I'm even contemplating the purchase of some rhinestone-studded flip-flops, you guys.

THE THINGS WE DO FOR LOVE.


That said, there are a few things about Texas that I still don't quite understand. For example:

1. the heat
2. the fact that people go outside in the heat
3. the love of the Dallas Cowboys
4. (something called the Texas Donut Toss)
5. did I mention the heat?

Oh, what's that? Have you not heard of the Texas Donut Toss?

WELL LET ME FILL YOU IN.

The other day, the husband was out for a run. There's nothing especially noteworthy about that fact (unless you count the fact that he was OUTSIDE IN THE HEAT and simultaneously EXERTING HIMSELF, but whatever.) He often runs for several miles, planning his route with google maps before trekking out, finding dirt roads that are probably full of armadillos, and sometimes even doing it BAREFOOT.

(I KNOW.)

At some point during one of these runs, the husband emerged from the Texas wild onto a main road. He was running along the sidewalk when he happened to look up at a passing car. Then, before he could process exactly what was going on (probably heatstroke), there was a donut hurdling at him from the direction of the road.



That's right. Someone THREW A DONUT AT HIM.

Believe it or not, I had about as difficult a time processing this story as I did processing the fact that a demon beetle climbed out of my kid's toy elephant.

Me: What? You mean, they just...threw it at you?

Him: Yup. Pretty despicable.

Me: But, I mean...like...why?

Him: I don't know why, wife.

Me: It just seems like...why would you waste a donut?

Him: Maybe I offended them with my glistening biceps.

Me: Was it half-eaten? Like, are you sure they weren't just tossing out a stale snack they found under the seat?

Him: It nearly hit me directly in the face.

Me: I cannot wrap my mind around this. How did you react?

Him: Flipped 'em off? Kept running? What the hell was I supposed to do?

Which got me thinking. What *IS* the etiquette here, dear readers? When confronted with the Texas Donut Toss, what are you supposed to do? Catch it? Eat it? Throw it back? Wear it on your finger like a shameful trophy?