Tuesday, May 8, 2012

I Would Do Anything For Health, But...

While my husband was away last month (for work, not JAIL, all you RHoNJ fans!) I sent him an email with a link to a health guru's website. I had just eaten a fistful of candy bars for breakfast for the 10th day straight when one of my favorite Twitter people tweeted something about vegetables and energy. After briefly questioning why she was EVER my friend, I got inspired for some reason. (Probably the sugar high.) I asked her to send me some info, and like someone distracted from deadly levels of glucose, I simply forwarded the link to my husband.

Me: I've been thinking about my health a lot lately, and I want to drastically change my diet. For serious. What do you think about this link?

Him: Um, the paleo diet?

Me: [Clicks through link for the first time.] What? It's the PALEO DIET? Oh, fuck that shit. Nevermind.

But I didn't give up altogether! My friend and I had been talking about trying a juicing diet recently, so I seized the moment and started dabbling with my blender. In no time at all, I'd come up with a few good recipes, and instead of eating all my kids' favorite cereal for breakfast, I was drinking pureed oatmeal and spinach and bananas and soy milk every morning. (And not even regurgitating it!) This was a week or two ago, and I'm still at it, which is basically amazing if you know anything about my perseverance. (My motivation MAY have had something to do with spotting a dress of mine on two celebrities recently...TWO VERY-PREGNANT CELEBRITIES.) Nothing too magical has happened, but I am slightly less tired, which is what I was going for. Also: Type II Diabetes insurance.

But beyond the additional shake or two, not much else has changed. I haven't dropped more than a pound, I haven't become determined to clean out my pantry, and I certainly haven't overcome my fear of group exercise classes. This may have to do with the fact that I can't give up caffeine, am too busy and unmotivated for regular gym attendance, and the aforementioned cookie-stacked pantry. A few other things I've decided I can't quite quit for the sake of longevity and painless death:

1. 1/2 and 1/2
2. Cocktails
3. French fries
4. Peanut butter
5. Huffing Windex

But I think I can work with that. I'll take my steps one saddle bag at a time.

*****

PS: Tomorrow is the last day to enter my Petite Box giveaway! There are still relatively few entries, which means your chances of winning are roughly less than one in a million!