Me: I've been thinking about my health a lot lately, and I want to drastically change my diet. For serious. What do you think about this link?
Him: Um, the paleo diet?
Me: [Clicks through link for the first time.] What? It's the PALEO DIET? Oh, fuck that shit. Nevermind.
But I didn't give up altogether! My friend and I had been talking about trying a juicing diet recently, so I seized the moment and started dabbling with my blender. In no time at all, I'd come up with a few good recipes, and instead of eating all my kids' favorite cereal for breakfast, I was drinking pureed oatmeal and spinach and bananas and soy milk every morning. (And not even regurgitating it!) This was a week or two ago, and I'm still at it, which is basically amazing if you know anything about my perseverance. (My motivation MAY have had something to do with spotting a dress of mine on two celebrities recently...TWO VERY-PREGNANT CELEBRITIES.) Nothing too magical has happened, but I am slightly less tired, which is what I was going for. Also: Type II Diabetes insurance.
But beyond the additional shake or two, not much else has changed. I haven't dropped more than a pound, I haven't become determined to clean out my pantry, and I certainly haven't overcome my fear of group exercise classes. This may have to do with the fact that I can't give up caffeine, am too busy and unmotivated for regular gym attendance, and the aforementioned cookie-stacked pantry. A few other things I've decided I can't quite quit for the sake of longevity and painless death:
1. 1/2 and 1/2
3. French fries
4. Peanut butter
5. Huffing Windex
But I think I can work with that. I'll take my steps one saddle bag at a time.
PS: Tomorrow is the last day to enter my Petite Box giveaway! There are still relatively few entries, which means your chances of winning are roughly less than one in a million!