Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Babies: ARE THEY CONTAGIOUS? (Plus a Giveaway!)

Babies are cute, mostly.

For the most part, when I see someone else's baby, I generally react like an estrogen-fueled, target-locked, newborn fiend. It's about as attractive as it looks, I'm sure. Many women fall victim to this condition and, under such newborn distress, are known to say ridiculous things such as:

YOU'RE MAKING MY OVARIES HURT.

AHMAHGAH, YOU JUST MADE ME LACTATE.

THAT BABY IS SO CUTE, MY EPISIOTOMY SCAR IS BURNING.

(Maybe not that last one so much.)

Anyway, the point is that, I'm one of these people. Except for the fact that, within the past few months or so, I learned that virtually EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FRIENDS (except for like one. Or two.) is presently knocked-up or has just given birth. No joke:

Friend #1: Baby girl born in early March.

Friend #2: Baby girl born in mid-March.

Friend #3: Baby girl born in late March.

Friend #4: Baby due in early August

Friend #5: Baby due in late August

Friend #6: Baby due in September

Friend #7: Baby due in November

WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DRINKING?!

(Don't answer that.)

As a woman that has sold all of her baby stuff, surely you can understand how THIS IS FRIGHTENING NEWS, you guys! I mean, you've HEARD of the fact that we like to line up our periods for fun, right? WHAT IF MY OVARIES SEE THIS SHIT? You can only imagine my precautionary measures when I recently had to take some antibiotics for a sinus infection.

Ahem.

So now I'm equal parts elated and terrified every time a friend texts me a picture of their baby. I always sign off with a "smell that baby's head for me!" and then immediately eat a birth control pill. Because I am WISE to my hormones and that selective memory business.Would I like another baby? In theory: HELLS YEAH! In reality: AHAILNAH!

Why? 
I like to sleep.
That kind of sums it up.

The point of all this, though, is that I have found a way to celebrate these births and pregnancies in a manner that helps me work through my conflicted desire for more children: shopping.

Duh.

Etsy is a favorite of mine, and I've spent entirely too many hours over there, putting together gift baskets for my ladies. But if you don't have a gajillion hours to spend wading through Etsy, something like Petite Box is basically amazing because they do all the work for you.

For $25/month, you can sign yourself up or one of your pregnant or freshly un-pregnant friends. They have gift boxes for expecting mothers along with gift boxes designed to meet the needs of new moms and their growing wittle-ittle babies.

The box I received was full of the following:
  • Mam Pacifiers

  • Angel Dear blankie

  • Lansinoh HPA lanolin oil

  • Basq calm, resilient body oil

  • Basq advanced stretch mark butter

  • Lotus Wei infinite love mist

  • Earth Friendly Baby shampoo & bodywash
But my list doesn't do it justice, obviously. You need to go to the site and check out an example of their gift boxes.

If you add up the retail value of these, it's well over $100, but the cost to you is only $25! I can't even tell you how much I'd LOVELOVELOVE this subscription if I were pregnant again. (Which, I'M NOT.) That makes it all the more fun to buy it for others, though!

So! If you win, you can pick any one of their many styles, which are suitable for pregnant women from 17 weeks on, and from babies month 0 - 12.

It's ALMOST enough to really put me over the I WANNA BABY edge.

(Almost.)

a Rafflecopter giveaway
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Legal: I was provided a complimentary Petite Box to facilitate my review and giveaway, but all opinions, as always, are my own, ya heard?