Thursday, December 1, 2011

20 Bizarre Christmas Ornaments for 2011

It's that time again, everyone! JettSuperior is doing her annual ornament exchange. I've already been shopping on etsy for a few days now and have more or less viewed all the things. I don't know much about the person I'm sending a gift to this year, so I thought I'd throw a wide net. I've come up with the following gems.

Feel free to buy me any on the list!

(Totally fucking kidding!)

1. Ronald Reagan is a Saint ornament. There's something about those eyes...

2. Terrifying giraffe ornament.

Dear god, someone hold me.

(Some are NSFW, so full set after the jump!)

3. Cat butt

Yes, indeed, you are looking at a cat's asshole. Now put it on your damn Christmas tree where it belongs!

4. Dead animals

Not a creature was stirring....BECAUSE I KILLED IT.

5. Pixie...creature


6. Creepy old snowman

Who wants some candy? It's right here behind my heart! OMFG

7. Shit on a heart

This is genuine moose poop. On a gold heart with red and white rhinestones. It kind of reminds me of my childhood dream dress. Just with more fecal matter.

8. Sad, sad unicorn

This one also reminds me of my childhood, but WAS NOT MADE BY A CHILD.

9. Sad, sad child

And if you feel like this post has stolen your innocence, at least you're not THIS kid.

10. Inappropriate creature

Apparently it's a "narwhal", but I feel like Pinocchio was involved. Or maybe that creepy snowman.

11. Inappropriate penis

As if ANY penis is appropriate!

12. Sperm

At least this thing could pass for a defective jelly fish or some shit.

13. Okra Santas

I'm not convinced these aren't smuggled human bones.

14. Andy Warhol, the mole

I assume this one comes with complimentary psychotropics so you know what the fuck it means.

15. Turd

For the hipster in your life that already has a mustache ornament!

16. Baby Horrors

What would Christmas be without a little baby, spread eagle?

17. Day of the Dead poodle

I don't have many words for this one...I'm kind of scared it's cursed.

18. Spider ornament

This one might be perfect to commemorate our first Christmas in Texas!

19. Texan uterus

I totally thought these were Texas longhorns.

20. Amy Winehouse in a box

Yay for dead people!

Happy holidays, you sick bastards!