Feel free to buy me any on the list!
(Totally fucking kidding!)
1. Ronald Reagan is a Saint ornament. There's something about those eyes...
2. Terrifying giraffe ornament.
Dear god, someone hold me.
(Some are NSFW, so full set after the jump!)
3. Cat butt
Yes, indeed, you are looking at a cat's asshole. Now put it on your damn Christmas tree where it belongs!
4. Dead animals
Not a creature was stirring....BECAUSE I KILLED IT.
OH HAI. AM HERE TO EAT YOUR SOUL.
6. Creepy old snowman
Who wants some candy? It's right here behind my heart! OMFG
7. Shit on a heart
This is genuine moose poop. On a gold heart with red and white rhinestones. It kind of reminds me of my childhood dream dress. Just with more fecal matter.
8. Sad, sad unicorn
This one also reminds me of my childhood, but WAS NOT MADE BY A CHILD.
9. Sad, sad child
And if you feel like this post has stolen your innocence, at least you're not THIS kid.
10. Inappropriate creature
Apparently it's a "narwhal", but I feel like Pinocchio was involved. Or maybe that creepy snowman.
11. Inappropriate penis
As if ANY penis is appropriate!
At least this thing could pass for a defective jelly fish or some shit.
13. Okra Santas
I'm not convinced these aren't smuggled human bones.
14. Andy Warhol, the mole
I assume this one comes with complimentary psychotropics so you know what the fuck it means.
For the hipster in your life that already has a mustache ornament!
16. Baby Horrors
What would Christmas be without a little baby, spread eagle?
17. Day of the Dead poodle
I don't have many words for this one...I'm kind of scared it's cursed.
18. Spider ornament
This one might be perfect to commemorate our first Christmas in Texas!
19. Texan uterus
I totally thought these were Texas longhorns.
20. Amy Winehouse in a box
Happy holidays, you sick bastards!