Thursday, October 27, 2011

Wanted: Cat, A Five Year-Old's Book Review

The other day, I was standing in the checkout line for about three hours at an Albertson's grocery store with a tantruming son because there was an extreme couponer trying to buy the place out of its Snickers bars. My three year-old was SCREAMING every time I touched him, you see. Like the kind of screams that prompted a nearby jerk kid to ask his mother what I was DOING TO THAT BOY?! And the mother responding with a hushed, Let's just mind our business. Thank goodness my eldest was standing by quietly. (Though, he was in his pajamas. Wearing a sticker with the words DRUGS! in neon colors. At 5pm. BUT IT WAS FOR THIS THING AT HIS SCHOOL and omg please don't take my children.)

It was the closest I've ever been to murdering someone. (The extreme couponer, of course.)

Anyway, when we got home, I was kind of thrilled to see Marinka's new book Wanted: Cat in our mailbox. I firmly believe in rewarding the well behaved in front of the poorly behaved who are moping in time out.

I handed Plus One the book and he smirked suspiciously.

Me: This is for you!

Him: Why? [Already, he's learned not to trust gifts from his mother]

Me: A friend of mine sent it to you.

Him: [Relieved.] A friend of yours? [Shocked.] Sent this book to me? THAT'S SO NICE OF HER!

Me: Yeah, yeah, just sit down a read it.

So he shuffled over to the couch, still in his pajamas, and plopped down with the book on his lap. Here is his unsolicited, unadulterated review:

"Lots of rainbow cats! A cat on top of a building? That's weird. They ALWAYS want a CAT. A ROBOT cat? Huh. These people do EVERYTHING with cats. Cats are always the best. Everyone thinks this cat is great. He meows! He's drinking juice. They're happy for him! He's tired. He wants to watch TV!"

His brother is freed from time out and scurries over to ogle the new book. "TeeTee?! But kitties don't watch TeeTee!"

"Well, the one I saw did."

"Oh, yeah."

And then the book quickly became a weapon as the two of them fought over it. If that's not a ringing endorsement, I'm not sure what is.

You can buy the book Wanted: Cat on Amazon.