Here are some ideas for additional books that I came up with in the shower this morning. I'm happy to sell them to you for a small fee:
What to Expect When You're Expecting an Indictment
Filled with current information on how to negotiate for top-dollar interviews with national media, contact information for the most trustworthy and discreet transporters to set you up with a new identity in Shangri-la, and how-to tutorials on scoring high profile defense attorneys, this indictment bible is a must-have for the modern felon.
What to Expect When You're Expecting Your Mother-in-Law
From training the children to recite passages from Milton's Paradise Lost to effective threatening techniques to temper your husband's behavior around his dear mother, What to Expect When You're Expecting Your Mother-in-Law has it all! Look for bonus chapters on how to successfully hide your liquor stash, deflect unwanted criticisms, and hide a dead body!
What to Expect When You're Expecting a Miracle
Find yourself with that delightful 80s earworm, "All I Need is a Miracle" rattling your brain? GOOD! Because each copy of this new edition is wired to automatically play various 80s hits including Kyrie Eleison, Like a Prayer, and Sister Christian every time you open the book! After all, how can God hear you IF YOU'RE NOT SINGING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS?!
What to Expect When You're Expecting a Package
Including tips on how to peer out your blinds without attracting the attention of your neighbors, alibis and strategies for trafficking illegal goods, and how to test for anthrax spores, this book makes a great birthday or anniversary gift!
What to Expect When Expecting the Unexpected
"If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day. If you TEACH him to fish, he's probably going to be really fucking annoyed and never talk to you again."
It's the adage from which this text draws its inspiration. For when you open the book, the LAST thing you'll find there is a bunch of printed words! Instead, opening the cover will alert the nearest cell tower of your location and immediately send upon you one of the ten plagues of Egypt! How better to learn than trial by fire! Or locusts!
Anyway, that's just off the top of my head, you know?
I also do work for my fellow bloggers at a reduced rate! Order now, before it's too late!