Thursday, June 2, 2011

Then Snakes Fell From the Sky

Google headline: Armadillos Linked Definitely to Leprosy in Humans. O.M.F.G.

Him: Why is there mulch all over the front porch, anyway?

Me: I just saw that this morning. I think there's an animal digging around or something.

Him: Like...what kind of animal?

Me: :[Judgmental glare.] Um, like a squirrel or something? I don't freaking KNOW.

Him: [Absentmindedly] Nah, it's probably an armadillo.

Me: A fucking armadillo? THAT'S where your mind goes?

Him: They're all over the place here!

Me: You didn't think, like, RABBIT or something first? We have 625 living in the back yard...

Him: [Googling "armadillo"]

Me: I've SEEN Steel Magnolias, mister. I KNOW what a damn ARMADILLO looks like.

Him: ...or it could've been a bobcat.

Me: Why does Texas hate me?

Later that day, we stepped outside to see THIS in front of our house. A bird had dropped it from the sky, SURE, it's not deadly or anything, but STILL: I can only assume this is some sort of death threat from the state of Texas itself. ( mean, armadillos and bobcats don't snack on snakes...while plotting to erase the human population with a leprosy pandemic...right?)