Monday, May 23, 2011

On Two Year-Olds and Rabbits

My youngest, T9, is two and a half. By nature, his gig is to be difficult at this stage of his life. But I think he and I might have a different understanding of the word. While I anticipate a challenge and some frustrating moments complicated by declining levels of patience, HE is focusing on a world record of pain-in-the-assery. This includes crying at the wind, picking up a toy and then sobbing because it's not THE OTHER ONE, biting his 50 pound, 4 and a half year-old brother (T9 is fearless, you see), and simply throwing the word NO!NONONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! out there just in case there might be a question or action to match it. Oh, and he's also on a hunger strike.

A few moments ago, we all sat down for some lunch. I pulled two cups from the cabinet and began to fill them with juice (and water...to cut down on the sugar...but mostly because I'm cheap). T9 was eying me the whole time, probably praying for a slip-up so he could begin his violent protest. His skipping-stomp began as I brought the cups to the table and set them next to the boys' sandwiches.

T9: DAT ONE! DAT ONE! DATDATDATDAT MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNEE!

Me: Are you asking me for something, T9?

T9: [whimper] Yeeeets. Dat one? Mine?

Me: Would you like this cup?

T9: MmmHHHHMMMMM

Me: Sure, buddy. Here you go. That means your brother gets the other one, okay?

T9: O-tay.

I got the boys seated at the table with all their provisions, but no sooner did PlusOne pick up the rejected cup did T9 begin to wail.  NONONONONOOOOOOO DAT MINE, BRU-VUH! DAT ONE MIIIIIIIINE!

And wail.

And wail.

And flail!

Right out of his seat! And onto the kitchen floor!

I looked down at my young son as he writhed on the floor, and decided it would be best for everyone if I step out of the room for a moment. As I walked toward the living room, I heard Plus One mutter to himself with a sigh: Here we go again.

And then I started to laugh. And T9 yelled louder at the sound of my giggles.

Today is going to be one of those days when have to tell Plus One, just don't talk to your brother, okay? Just don't even LOOK at him.

You have those days, right? (TELL ME YOU HAVE THEM.)

__________

But before you leave, I have a list for you:

1. I wrote a piece over at Moxie Bird about a family in Canada that is keeping the gender of their youngest child a secret. From the world. Even the grandparents. The comments are starting to get some chatter going, so come offer your two cents. (Don't worry, mine involves lollipops. It's not super intellectual. As if you'd even think that.)

2. If you'd rather do something more mindless, read my roundup of The Billboard Awards over at MamaPop. Pay special attention to Nicki Minaj's face. Is it *always* like that?

3. AND!  I'm working on a piece for Wednesday to highlight my current favorite bloggers. (Well, five of them anyway.) Is there a blog you're reading and loving? Who is the best-kept secret of the blogosphere (I hate that word) at the moment? Please to be sharing with me?

4. Aside from the snakes, spiders, and bobcats of Texas that threaten my existence on the regular, I am also currently stressing rabbits.



They're super cute and stuff. But when they come all the time? They tend to have to shit during their stay. All over the lawn. Did I mention my two-year old and his candy fetish? You do the math.