Okay, so you win. Texas is totally friendlier than New York.
The first full day we were in the house, two of our neighbors approached my husband to introduce themselves. The first day at our house in New York? Like four years ago? I remember lifting a box of books--while A GAJILLION MONTHS PREGNANT--dropping those books, and doing a squat thrust to retrieve them, all while being mocked by young children across the street.
But here in Texas? The first time one set of neighbors came over, I was busy wrangling the children away from red ants (omfg) and these frightening looking birds that I’ve decided to call THE CRACKENS. So, a few hours later, he CAME BACK OVER to meet me and the boys. In fact, he'd brought his young son this time. Because, my god, it's just a really nice thing to do, apparently! And I? I handled this situation by nearly almost KIND OF MAYBE coming close to running them both over. I blame my husband’s truck. And the tinted windows. And the new cap. And my subconscious’ desire to destroy any chance of happiness and social success for me and/or my children.
(I rolled down the window and the kids waved from the back seat before I drove away. Jesus. I don’t think they’ll be bringing us any cookies.)
Then, earlier today, another set of neighbors from across the street scurried over while my husband was being chatted up by yet ANOTHER neighbor from down the road. (I mean, seriously, in New York? If this many people came walking briskly toward me in a unified manner? I’d run inside, lock my door, and hide in the bathtub with the children until the apocalypse.) Anyway, when I came outside all, what do you want for dinner? And did you realize it's already SIX O'CLOCK CENTRAL TIME?! And I guess we need to feed the children something other than OMFG CARDBOARD BOXES EVERYWHERE? It took me by surprise when one of them, a woman, extended her hand excitedly. She was very sweet, telling me about the area and her work and how the heat isn’t! that! bad! In fact, I got so frazzled by the warm welcome we’d been receiving that I started doing what I do in nearly any excitable situation that involves talking.
I bit the shit out of my motherfucking tongue trying to speak the phrase, “I know!”
I spent the rest of the conversation playing the tears in my eyes off as those of laughter, and not the pain of my flattened self-confidence.
I think she bought it.
Pee Ess: Do you like the new digs? Eh? Eh? This is ALL due to the hard work of Krista over at Ritzy Design. She? Awesome.
Pee Ess Ess: Have you heard of Daily Buzz Moms? They launch today, and I’m proud to be part of the network. You can join, too. I bet you won’t even bite your tongue in the process.