Tuesday, May 3, 2011

New! Things!


Okay, so you win. Texas is totally friendlier than New York.

::kicks dirt::

The first full day we were in the house, two of our neighbors approached my husband to introduce themselves. The first day at our house in New York? Like four years ago? I remember lifting a box of books--while A GAJILLION MONTHS PREGNANT--dropping those books, and doing a squat thrust to retrieve them, all while being mocked by young children across the street.

But here in Texas? The first time one set of neighbors came over, I was busy wrangling the children away from red ants (omfg) and these frightening looking birds that I’ve decided to call THE CRACKENS. So, a few hours later, he CAME BACK OVER to meet me and the boys. In fact, he'd brought his young son this time. Because, my god, it's just a really nice thing to do, apparently! And I? I handled this situation by nearly almost KIND OF MAYBE coming close to running them both over. I blame my husband’s truck. And the tinted windows. And the new cap. And my subconscious’ desire to destroy any chance of happiness and social success for me and/or my children. 

(I rolled down the window and the kids waved from the back seat before I drove away. Jesus. I don’t think they’ll be bringing us any cookies.)

Then, earlier today, another set of neighbors from across the street scurried over while my husband was being chatted up by yet ANOTHER neighbor from down the road. (I mean, seriously, in New York? If this many people came walking briskly toward me in a unified manner? I’d run inside, lock my door, and hide in the bathtub with the children until the apocalypse.) Anyway, when I came outside all, what do you want for dinner? And did you realize it's already SIX O'CLOCK CENTRAL TIME?! And I guess we need to feed the children something other than OMFG CARDBOARD BOXES EVERYWHERE? It took me by surprise when one of them, a woman, extended her hand excitedly. She was very sweet, telling me about the area and her work and how the heat isn’t! that! bad! In fact, I got so frazzled by the warm welcome we’d been receiving that I started doing what I do in nearly any excitable situation that involves talking.

I bit the shit out of my motherfucking tongue trying to speak the phrase, “I know!”

I spent the rest of the conversation playing the tears in my eyes off as those of laughter, and not the pain of my flattened self-confidence.

I think she bought it.
__________

Pee Ess: Do you like the new digs? Eh? Eh? This is ALL due to the hard work of Krista over at Ritzy Design. She? Awesome.

Pee Ess Ess: Have you heard of Daily Buzz Moms? They launch today, and I’m proud to be part of the network. You can join, too. I bet you won’t even bite your tongue in the process.


23 comments:

  1. So funny. When i moved to NYC from the south and i would say hello to people in the elevator, they'd all move away like i was going to gun them down.

    The south is friendly; it just is! I think you'll love it and it sounds like you have a great neighborhood.

    ReplyDelete
  2. obviously central florida is not part of 'the south'. because it's NOT like that in our area.

    can't wait to get back to new york. my old neighborhood on long island was like that - all friendly and awesome. we used to routinely get drunk with our neighbor.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your new banner! I'm also glad you and your family survived your move.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I live in the Pac NW and I would just die a little bit of happiness if I got to move to Texas. It would be a dream come true...I would TOTALLY fit in! (well, maybe) So I am slightly jealous of you! :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know completely how you feel. Though I moved from NYC to the Midwest THEN to the South, so I had a bit more transition time. I've lived in the South for 9 months now... I'd say it took me 6 months before my sarcasm toned down to the point where these people don't think I'm the most miserable bitch on the planet anymore. Also: it's TOTALLY acceptable to call EVERYONE darlin. That's fun.
    PS- love the new look!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Love the new digs AND your move adventure has kept me laughing! Thank you...cuz I needed that!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm glad you got such a warm welcome! I've lived in a large city, so I know what you mean about being cautious with neighbors. How nice that your new neighbors are normal.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love the new look dude! And the ads?? Hello! Im so hungry for ranch dressing right now! Look at you!! Famous and living in Texas! LOVE IT!

    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  9. Central Time rocks TV-wise. No killing an hour between dinner and prime time! Fall asleep after the late news instead of during it! See the final last out of a playoff or World Series game without the help of methamphetamine! Then you learn that being in the flat lands of Texas means in the summer that you put the kids to bed at 9 and it is still light out.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Making the Friends the Kristine way still?!

    Loving the new look!

    Simon

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love the new look and love this post! So glad they have been welcoming...even with you trying to run them over :) Too funny. Good luck getting everything settled in. I am sure it will happen all pretty smoothly

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks, errrbody!

    I'll tell you now, however, that I still have NO Internet at the house. I didn't tell you at first because i didnt want you to worry. It's been dark, but I think we'll pull through.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I love the look... orange is my favorite :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Don't let anyone tell you the heat isn't that bad down here. Because it is. It's like you telling someone from San Antonio that it doesn't get that cold in New York. If you aren't used to it, it really sucks.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I really like the new look! Pretty!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am born and raised in Texas (FW), so trust me the mean people will come out to play soon enough!! LOL
    Thank goodness the weather has been amazing for your first few days.

    ReplyDelete
  17. That's the one, and only, thing that I miss from the South. Oh and by the way, the new diggs are TOTALLY FAB!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm way jealous of the new look. See? We told you Texas wasn't all bad.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Yay for getting settled (or at least starting that) and meeting the neighbours. We've been on our street 8 years this summer and have really only met a handful of people. When we run into others from the street, they look at us like we're crazy when we tell them that no, we haven't just moved in. Bizarre.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I love the new look!

    And, try living in Iowa where every single person you drive by waves at you. It's awesome and annoying both at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Texas is totally crazily friendly! People were knocking on our door when we moved in as well. I thought we had parked in the wrong place or had broken some law to elicit such attention. But they were just freakishly friendly. I agree, this would not happen in New York or Virginia. I think it took me 3 years of awkward smiles taking the garbage out to meet neighbors there. Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am born and raised in Texas (FW), so trust me the mean people will come out to play soon enough!! LOL
    Thank goodness the weather has been amazing for your first few days.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Central Time rocks TV-wise. No killing an hour between dinner and prime time! Fall asleep after the late news instead of during it! See the final last out of a playoff or World Series game without the help of methamphetamine! Then you learn that being in the flat lands of Texas means in the summer that you put the kids to bed at 9 and it is still light out.

    ReplyDelete