Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Homecoming (With a Touch of Carrie)

I'm kind of sighing a breath of relief today, despite the fact that I've already had to clean crap out of a pair of Thomas the Train underwear. That's right! Shit can't keep me down, because my husband gets home tonight, guys! I didn't explicitly mention this before, but after we moved in he was only able to stay for about five days before he had to fly back to New York to finish work. He's been gone for almost a month at this point, and I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want anyone to identify me, note my solitary situation, track me down, and murder me in my sleep.

Though it was all VERY tempting on days when I felt especially whiny about the situation. I like a good pity party.

But, like I said, he's coming home. And while I'm very excited to have my teammate back, it IS going to be a little bit weird to be, like...living with someone again. I mean, up until this point, I've only really lived in this house alone (well, I guess there's a couple of kids floating around, too). This allowed for some rather free-spirited living conditions, you see. Something about having my husband around--watching...he's always watching...--keeps me from indulging in gluttony and sloth. When he's GONE, however...well, I mean, have you ever seen one of Jerry Springer's audience members?

1. Cookies for breakfast? WHY NOT.
2. Showering? Optional.
3. I don't see I purpose in an alarm clock and I'm not sure why I ever did.
4. No wet towels to pick up in the bathroom! Hell, don't even CLEAN the bathroom! Just shut the door!
5. Lunch? Eh, coffee.
6. A more fluid definition of "home made, healthy dinner"
7. Non-stop viewing of The Bachelorette, Real Housewives, and everything else that is sad and wrong with modern American television programming.
8. "KIDS. Keep it down. Mommy's TRYING to nap over here."

Of course, having him home is wonderful. I have an adult to converse with, a hand to hold, a friend to laugh with, and--of course--someone to race to the bedroom with. (So that I can be the first one asleep and he has to turn off the light.)

But, come on, I'm totally kidding and my husband is the best, and I love him, and what I'm saying is that our new home hasn't felt quite right without him here.

(Because he hasn't yet hung the curtains.)


PS! I have some really awesome news that I am COMPLETELY excited and floored and honored and anxious and deathly competitive and suddenly obsessed about...

I was nominated for BlogHer 2011's Voices of the Year! I'm not sure if it's because she's on her death bed or what, but Marinka sent along my name and I couldn't be more flattered. She's one of the funniest women out there, and I only hope she knows that the feeling is mutual and that I obsess about her in a moderately unhealthy manner. Daily.

Now, thankfully, this isn't really a pimp-yourself-out-and-beg-for-votes kind of thing, but you CAN mosey on over there and vote if you'd like, because there is a slot for People's Choice Award. However, I have no idea exactly HOW you're supposed to do that because I read something about me a "thumbs up" and I SEE NO THUMBS. So maybe just click on my submission and leave a comment about how I've been acting kind of strange ever since I heard the news and you're worried for my safety!

And I should mention that some of the lucky finalists will be selected to speak AT BlogHer '11 in August. Like, on the stage. In front of LOTS of people. And do you remember that one time I had to simply read from note cards in front of roughly EIGHT people and I broke into hives?

In other words, the potential for what COULD come of this--should I win--will likely motivate you to vote for the stories alone, don't you think?