Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I Think I'll Start Listening to Death Metal

It's here! At about 7am this morning, this lovely hunk of metal pulled in front of our house, where it will remain until we stuff it full of our shit over the next five days.


::cue Chariots of Fire music::

Can you hear it? Can you see it? Our slow-motion assembly line of packing, starting with a cat, who nudges the box toward the toddler, who shoves it toward the child, who carries it proudly to his mother, who lifts it gently to her husband, who piles it with precision into the trailer?

What? No? You CAN'T?!

Well, good, because that shit is NOT happening.

Plus One: I want to start loading the BIG! TRUCK! NOW!

Me: Well, we're not quite ready yet, buddy, and I think you--...

Plus One: RIGHT! NOW! I! SAID!

Me: Would you like to sleep in the truck, darling?

...and, later...

Him: Did you save the receipts for the packing tape? We can claim all this stuff...

Me: RECEIPTS?! [*SOB*] WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!

On that note, I'm guessing that I might be sparse around here for a few days. (Or months, depending on the length of my hospital stay.) In the meantime, know that I feel like a (genuine) ass for not reciprocating and responding to all my readers and commenters lately. It's at the top of my list once we are somewhat settled in TAY-HAAAS. (Or, you know, until I can get an unaccompanied visit from the hospital grounds.)

xo!

21 comments:

  1. Good luck with the move. I hope it all goes smoothly! *mwah*

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  2. He wanted you to *keep* receipts? I don't...understand. I thought you immediately burned them. I was never good at "book keeping".

    I love your blog!

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  3. We let the Navy move us home when we got out and while we did all the packing, they did all the moving. That was 1996 and it was delightful. Unfortunately, those moving fairies never again reappeared for any subsequent moves. Damn them!

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  4. If he wanted to keep the receipts, he should have done it himself! Men :) That is terrible that you have to pack it all yourself- they should have supplied some movers for you.

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  5. we were thinking of getting one of those for our impending move back to new yawk. however, we don't have enough shit to fill it.

    i know, you probably hate me. but we're selling/throwing out like HALF of the shit in our house. so really, a uhaul is our only option.

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  6. I just read that the word Texas means "friends." Uh, this random comment does have a purpose: *whispering* everything is going to be okay. eventually.

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  7. This is going to be wonderful for your readers.

    I feel it in my bones.

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  8. When we lived on a military base overseas, Jamaican workers packed our house. It was more fun than magic fairies and there was a lot of singing and dancing. Jamaicans just don't rush, so they were there all day and evening.

    We gave them our Bellamy Brothers CD's as a tip.

    www.alotoflayers.com

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  9. Military guys are the worst about packing up a house. In our most recent one, my husband and a couple of his buddies were trying to move the furniture out of the house while I was taking stuff apart (I shit you not, they were carrying the queen bed frame out of the bedroom as I was trotting along with them still trying to unscrew the damn thing). And then they got the couch stuck in the door and decided to fix it by liberally applying hammers to the door frame.

    Have fun, and send postcards from the loony bin :-D

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  10. I genuine ass; as compared to those disingenuous asses. I hate those types. You don't need to respond to me...after all, you won't even follow me on Twitter.

    Good luck with the move...and the hospital stay that's sure to follow.

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  11. You know, I take a short hiatus, and you go and have a whole big life change. Serves me right for not monitoring you more closely.

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  12. Ha! I feel like people hate me EVERY TIME they ask for a receipt. Great point! Glad the move is almost finished!

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  13. oh great, i finally get around to coming over to say hi, and you're out of here for a few days. why are you doing this to ME???? BIG TRUCK RIGHT NOW!!

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  14. From the first two post I have read, I'm guessing it'll be in Fort Worth that your trip ends. If you find there is little to do there, come give Waco a visit! It's only 40 minutes up the road, and we have THE ABSOLUTE BEST.... uh... hmmm.... stoplights? Oh, and then there's the Dr. Pepper Museum. But really, guessing when the damn stoplight will change is more entertaining.

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  15. I truly think that everyone should move their household at least once while they have small children. Makes for a strong character. Good LUCK!!

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  16. My husband is trying to make me return Duane Reade items so I can buy them again on a different credit card. Apparently, I used our prescription medication card to buy barrettes. He also hates me.

    Good luck with the move!

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  17. My son, career Navy, can plan the logistics of multi-vehicle convoys, in fact did it for one deployment to Iraq and several deployments to Afgh as convoy security element but he is hopeless when it comes to planning the many moves he and my dil and grandkids have lived thru....it has been my dil planning that made the moves successful. Good luck!!!!

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  18. We'll wait patiently for your return. Or Didactic Pirate and I may start a riot, but don't worry, we'll clean up after. Best of luck in the transition!

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  19. This is going to be wonderful for your readers.

    I feel it in my bones.

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  20. If he wanted to keep the receipts, he should have done it himself! Men :) That is terrible that you have to pack it all yourself- they should have supplied some movers for you.

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  21. Good luck with the move. I hope it all goes smoothly! *mwah*

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