Tuesday, January 18, 2011

He Loves My Stories. He Really Does.

Me: You know how I am about killing spiders, right?

Him: [Fidgeting with phone.] Not really, no.

Me: [Rolls eyes.] Yes you DO. I never kill them! I figure that if I see them, by the time I leave to get a shoe, they disappear anyway.

Him: I guess.

Me: I'm just saying, you're lucking I'm not a shrieker.

Him: Why's that?

Me: Because of THIS!


Him: What about it?

Me: WELL. I saw it yesterday in the boys' bathroom and just IGNORED it, because I like to consider myself a humanitarian.

Him: But spiders aren't even hu--

Me:  [Heavy sigh.] ANYWAY, the spider ignored the unspoken rule of DON'T SHOW YOUR FACE NO MO' when I saw him hovering over my pillow this morning.

Him: Oh.

Me: But get THIS. Every time I went to squish him with your shoe...

Him: [Looking up from phone.] MY shoe?!

Me: ...the bastard would REAR up on its back legs!

Him: Wait, you don't actually think that's the SAME spider, do you?

Me: ...

Me: JUST FORGET IT.

_________

ALSO! YOU GUYS! Some of you nominated me for an award over at Studio 30+ and I thank you humbly for that.  Voting officially began yesterday (I think), so make sure you go over and cast your vote. If you're not a member, you'll have to join first, and you can only vote once!

Please note, however, that I'm running against about 100 other talented people in each category and don't fully expect to win. Even a little bit.

I feel like here is where I should tell you all to just vote for me in one category so my chances are increased, but that feels WEIRD to me. Here are the categories to choose from (for ME, of course)

Funniest Blogger!
Most Interesting Blogger!
Blog You Want to Makeout in a Dark Closet With!
Best Mommy Blog!
Best Female Blog!
Blog of the Year!

Should we all pick one together? Or should I just shut up now?

I don't do this well. Clearly.

26 comments:

  1. I just leave 'em. We have an agreement: Easy on the cobwebs, stay in the background, no loud parties & kill other, more annoying bugs. In return, we don't squish 'em.

    PS: You already have my vote.

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  2. Yikes! Okay every hair on my arm is standing at attention.

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  3. Hate spiders, love the blog. I'm gonna sign up and vote.

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  4. I voted for you in many of those categories - so i'm on your side! I was luck enough to be nominated as well, except in the dude categories. So maybe if you see my name you'd give it a click? yes? no?

    SD
    www.TheSimpleDude.com

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  5. We're like enemies, poised for combat. I think you win just by being nominated in so many different categories.

    And I'm a shrieker. A 'make my kids kill the spider and give them anything they want in return for doing so' type shrieker.

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  6. Lol..you are one crazy women..I wonder too was it the same spider..much for humanitarian..XD
    I would join and vote you deserve to win..
    Good Luck..
    and congrats for getting nominated..
    BH

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  7. I would be freaking out over that spider! Yuck! I would not let it out of my sight until it was guaranteed dead! But maybe that's just because I've had a few too many resting on my pillow NEXT TO my head in the morning.

    Heading over to Studio 30+ now!

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  8. See, this is where you and I differ. You feel weird about asking people to vote for you. I beg them to. And bribe them. With inappropriate things.

    p.s. I totally voted for you. hint hint

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  9. if i spider dares to show it's face anywhere i may get naked (bedroom, bathroom, poolside) then it dies. i'll TOLERATE smaller ones in the living room unless it provokes the cats.

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  10. YAY! Congrats! Also, it is OBVIOUSLY the same spider. Those bitches know how to give mindfreaks.

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  11. I go crazy when I see spiders, it's horrible because all I can imagine is that they will be crawling all over me if I let them live! :(

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  12. Maybe he was coming down to personally thank you for not whacking him earlier. Or...maybe "he" was really a "she" and she was coming to crawl up into your brain and take over your body so that she could blog about all her spidey awesomeness...oh, and sleep with your husband. ;)

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  13. GAH!!!
    I'm sitting here looking at the picture, but I feel like it's on me. Is it on me? Get it off.

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  14. My wife screams when there is a spider, Wallett to the rescue, with a certain lack of sympathy. GET A GRIP WOMAN!

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  15. That's not a spider. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's bionic.

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  16. I scoop the spiders into a cup and cover it with a plate or towel or something so it can't get me then I carry it outside and shake it into the grass.

    You got a vote from me!

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  17. So, we were living in Arkansas - not the important part here - I was digging around under the bedside table looking (not really looking yet) for a book - when I couldn't find it, I lifted the tablecloth and jumped up on the bed doing that girl dance - HOLY SH**!!!!! My husband came running

    "WHAT?????"

    A SPIDER!!!!!

    Him - Well kill it!

    NO WAY!

    "Here.." throwing me a shoe...

    Uh - uh - NO WAY!! YOU GET IT!!!!

    "Geeze " - and he lifts up the tablecloth to find a tarantula the size of Texas....

    squish it with a shoe my fanny!

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  18. Dude, that spider is stalking you.

    You're gonna need to get a spider restraining order.

    Show that arachnid you mean business.

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  19. I don't hesitate. It's a flush before you can say "spider".

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  20. I already voted. . . but which category did I pick? Gah. I should have written this down. I had no idea there'd be a quiz.

    I let spiders live because (please be true, please be true) I'm hoping they kill all the other bugs.

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  21. I wish you could have seen my shudder at that spider pic. I can't deal with spiders, I make my roomie do it. But, she usually takes them outside and sets them free.

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  22. I wanted you to know that your blog is one of the ones I passed the Stylish Blogger award to. I have enjoyed the humor and the honesty that comes out in your pieces. Check out the post I just put up for details. http://coffeedrivenandadventurebound.blogspot.com/

    The badge is on there too for you too display :)

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  23. Just be happy he didn't jump on you! That happened to me once...

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  24. I wanted you to know that your blog is one of the ones I passed the Stylish Blogger award to. I have enjoyed the humor and the honesty that comes out in your pieces. Check out the post I just put up for details. http://coffeedrivenandadventurebound.blogspot.com/

    The badge is on there too for you too display :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. We're like enemies, poised for combat. I think you win just by being nominated in so many different categories.

    And I'm a shrieker. A 'make my kids kill the spider and give them anything they want in return for doing so' type shrieker.

    ReplyDelete