What? EVERYTHING is a contest. Even Christmas, godammit.
While I cannot reveal what I bought for my person yet (because I think it's supposed to be a surprise, DUH) or even who this person is (HINT: HE/SHE IS HILAAARIOUS. And no, it's not myself.), but here are the ornaments I found along the way, bookmarked as potential winners. While I didn't end up buying any of them, you can totally buy me one (or ALL) for Christmas. You were planning on getting me a gift anyway, right? So, then.
Zombie Gingerbread Men!
Come on! How awesome are these things? I've looked at MANY zombie ornaments, and these, in my opinion, were the nicest, and priced nicely at $15 for all three. So what if they'll scar the children forever! Zombies are SO COOL right now!
Snowman in a Man Thong!
How gross! And what says Christmas better than EWWW. NASTY. !?
Creepy Doll Head Ornament!
And this seller has like a million others to choose from. Imagine buying all of them and having your whole tree staring back at you with those eyeballs? WAHOO!
Sure, they kind of look like mouthless, freakish creatures, but they're carrying CANDY CANES for crying out loud. Certainly they're friendly!
The 'stache. 'Nuff said.
And these badboys are selling like hotcakes from this shop, it seems. Only one left! I bet those Movember Boys had something to do with it.
But how about we take it up a notch and put the mustache ON A FETUS.
Moving right along, how about an ornament for your Words with Friends opponents?
They had this cool one with snow on it, but it already sold, you bastards.
I'm wondering if this one is on velvet backing?
Or if they have a version of an Elvis cat?
And how could we have Christmas without a creepy MJ face?
I think it's the nostril dots that are really doing it for me.
And then there's, uhm, this thing.
Which I believe to be a candy striping beggar mouse.
And really, I could go on for hours with this stuff. Like I said, I kind got INTO IT. Which is your favorite? Which are you going to buy me? Find any others? (Except for the tampon angel. Please DO NOT SHARE the tampon angel.)