And just in time to ring in the New Year, I present the funny and talented Jason Avant. For this installment of the Twelve* Bloggers of Christmas, he shares his resolutions for 2011. I'm sure you'll find them eye-opening. Reflective. Inspiring. Evocative. And so forth and so on...
Like many of you, I look to the coming of a new year with great anticipation: a new year offers us the chance to better ourselves, to accomplish goals, to seek out new challenges. Also, a new year means more movies based on comic books. And so we come up with resolutions, and we do our very best to stick to them.
Problem is, if you're like me, those resolutions typically have a shelf life of five days. Every January 1st, it's the same: I'm gonna lose weight, write more, find new hobbies, get back into old ones. And then Real Life sticks out a foot and sends me sprawling. I agree with resolutions in theory; it's the execution that makes them dicey, and as they fall one by one, I feel the sting of failure. So this year, I've decided to make my resolutions much more attainable. I want to look back on 2011 as a year of accomplishment, when I made promises to myself and kept them, and became a better, stronger person as a result.
I will not use the phrase "n'est-ce pas".
I will not go hang gliding.
I will not refer to a male friend as "broham".
I will not refer to a female friend as "lady".
I will not keep a mongoose as a pet.
I will not take up golf.
I will not hide behind a bush and throw oysters at passing motorists.
I will not sell my children to North Korean black market kidney vendors.
I will not accuse Subway employees of witchery.
I will not wear suspenders.
I will not drink Bud Light.
I will not go to Lion Tamer Academy, even if they give me that scholarship, which they should, because my essay was awesome.
I will not buy a guard mule. (I think guard mules are illegal in California anyway. Guard donkeys are fine, if you have a permit.)
I will not join a Fantasy Curling League.
I will not eat any food whose name contains the letter "x".
I know. I still set the bar pretty high. But nothing worthwhile is easy, and I'm confident that I'll be able to stick to most of these. Wish me luck! Now, since I have a few more days until 2011...where I'd put the goddamn oysters?
Remember that Jason is the head honcho over at DadCentric, but he can also be found at:
(and, of course, The Twitter) @PetCobra
*Do I still need to remind you, even?