But in the end, I'm here to tell you that I'm a failure, because I have nothing much to share. The fact of the matter is that several ridiculous events occurred over the past few days, but I'm unable to process any into more than a sentence or two that ends with UHHHHHH...
For example, when I brought my son to this preschool function at a church that had its own damn coffee shop that served lattes and cinnamon buns and it was so pretty and yummy and suddenly I was participating in some sort of religious revival. And OHMYGOD did I mention that the pastor was hot?
There's also the part where I had a dream that Ellen DeGeneres was my therapist and she was getting all stressed out about all the paperwork necessary to document our sessions. In the end, I think she walked out on me because it was just too much. The paperwork, I think. I dunno, but it makes me sad for many reasons and I don't think I want to read into this much further, thankyouverymuch.
And of course, we can't forget my episode of OHMYGOD I DON'T CARE ABOUT WHERE YOU "LIKE IT" EVEN IF YOU'RE CLAIMING THAT IT'S ALL FOR BREAST CANCER AWARENESS. Because, my god, is anyone thinking about CANCER when they read shit like that? Al I can think of is how annoying you are and HOW COME YOU GOT NEW TWITTER AND I DIDN'T?!
But everything seemed to be getting better until I had a physical altercation with one of our house's MANY motherfucking baby gates (because, HI. BABIES). I won't tell you who won that battle because it wasn't me, and I'm pretty sure my children were watching. And rooting for the gate.
But, HEY! Stop staring at me already. LOOK! Did you hear?! Beta Dad got Blog of Note! Go give him a hug. I told you he was lovely. And while we're at it, are you reading Didactic Pirate? Because he's a professor. *wink* I mean, good writer. *wink* Well, really he's both. *WINK*
And, quickly, I'll mention that I have my latest Product of Silence post scheduled to go up this Friday. If you'd like to participate, click on the tab above for more information. I'll be linking to those who have posted since my last one or who post along with me on Friday. You're free to pick your own prompt, but if that's too overwhelming for you, you can use mine: this month, I'm inspired by the short story "Lost in the Funhouse" by Paul Barth. Google it up.
And, if you don't understand my directions (I'm not so good with the words and stuff), you can email me. But I may be grouchy because did I tell you my house is infected with the preschool plague AGAIN?! I'm wondering if education is really all that important anyway. I've also been thinking of taking on some sister wives.