Monday, September 13, 2010

The V Does Not Stand For Vagina

Well, here it is! My VLOG! As promised!

(Heh. No, I'm not drunk, but thanks for the concern. I'm just, well, stupid? Or something?)

I present this visual catastrophe in thanks for everyone who voted for our dear friend Kevin and his amazing quest to conquer Troy, and, well, (really, let's be honest here) as punishment for those who didn't.

So, yeah, it's a video of me...um, blogging? Or is it just a video blog? I'm not really sure, and in the end it will not matter. Because you'll all be so stunned by my, um, pajamas? Maybe? That it won't make one hell of a difference.

Ahem.

video


Be gentle?

*****

PS: I'd be remiss (and perhaps legally hoodwinked) if I didn't mention that I stole the background music from this place & got the idea for flashcards from the very talented Piper of Love. She did a really sweet video a few months(ish) back, and I've gone and butchered the notion. I hope she'll forgive me. Or at least promise not to sue.

And no one tell my kid about the paper, ok?

PPS: In an effort to bury this mother asap, I'll let you know about the contest winner later today. Hopefully. It depends on how drunk Cat is and if she ever gets her ass out of bed.

39 comments:

  1. Am I the only one who was imagining the opening credits set to the Star Wars intro music? I hope not, because that would be epic. And emo face? That needs to become a .gif immediately. You win! Congrats on your first vlog EVER!

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  2. Loving the PJs! and how did you get out of that one - what did hubby think you were doing, watching blue movies? ;-)

    J.J.

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  3. I am currently holding up a flash card (to the computer screen, as if you'll see it) that says:

    Nice Job!

    Now i am frantically going through my desk looking for the next flash card to hold up (how the hell did i lose one... i only made TWO CARDS dammit!)

    after 10 chaotic seconds I find the card and hold it up quickly to the screen. It reads:

    I love gingerbread! (the card is upside down of course.)

    Can't wait for the next Vlog, with the hopes of more Air Supply songs.

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

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  4. Well played, idea-thief. And just so's you know, if I don't win the contest, I'm tellin' the kid. Using flashcards and plenty of emo.

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  5. i'm glad you commented the dinosaur. i was wondering about him. what did he do to get a time out? :c

    also. i'm sure the construction paper theft will be forgiven. after all, i would guess that either yourself or husband paid for it. so it's technically yours. as are all things in the house.

    this is one reason why i don't have children: i'm a selfish bitch. and all these things are MINE.

    http://justanotherwastedday.blogspot.com/

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  6. In lieu of singing and dancing, I'll take pastel-colored flash cards, christmas jammies, and adorable off-camera DJ'ing any time. You rocked my socks AND the vlog.

    Here's the link to my video, which isn't NEARLY as delightful as yours, in fact. Thanks for the shout out though, I feel all hugged and loved and stuff. On a Monday even.

    http://blitherevival.blogspot.com/2010/07/this-is-for-you.html

    (yeah, I totally just pimped my post in your comment section. It's bad form, and I apologize. *kisses*)

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  7. Love it. If vlogging is something one can do in Gingerbread Man pajamas, then it's ALL WIN.

    I give this film 4.5 out of 5 stars, detracting half a star for the lack of musical production numbers. Step it up and dance next time. In 3-D!!!

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  8. love the vlog, giggled all through. keep up the good work,,, i will have to steal the idea tho....launch it in the UK.
    much love
    xx

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  9. Ok, so was the perfectly-timed husband interruption scripted, or do you also have a unicorn who farts Skittles and gives the best hand jobs in the world, next to Jesus. Of course.
    ?

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  10. Dammit...it wouldn't let me post my comment...grr...here it is again. If by some stupid internet error it posts twice, I apologize.

    Awesome! The only thing is, if you use the flashcards again, just drop them after you're done; the rustling of the paper was rather loud. But considering how shitty most computer mikes are, you are forgiven. And I loved the look on your face when your husband asked what you were doing. Priceless.

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  11. I have to say I'm shocked by your PJs. I have never in my life met someone who wears the tops to pajama sets.

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  12. Of all the things I never imagined I'd see, emo faces in gingerbread (potentially Christmas?) pajamas MUST be near the top of the list.

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  13. that didn't sound like construction paper. sounded more like card stock. just saying! :-P

    nice vlog!

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  14. So I have to say that you are a "thievin' llama" ~ give your kid back his paper, Missy! Or I WILL tell!

    Nice faces, too, very funny and a great first vagina log! Oops, I just saw that the "v" is not for vagina....great job anyway...hehehe. *scurrying away*

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  15. My green construction paper says "good job" I wrote it in RED ink to match you pj's

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  16. Awesome job! I have to admit I was waiting to hear your voice - people seem more real when they are not mute.....so I cannot be sure you really exist. (The "oh shit" could have been anybody!)

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  17. You are so brave! I would never let so many people look at my handwriting.

    I hope you stuffed all the construction paper back in your son's backback so he can use the reverse side.

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  18. Really, guys? You're criticizing the PAPER?

    Sigh.

    Dr.C: I think emo .gif might immediately become constipation .gif

    JJ: I'm not positive I know what a "blue movie" is, so I guess that answers your question.

    SimpleDude: Those damn cards are not as easy as they look, right?

    Cheryl: Listen, idle threats will get you no where on this blog. Unless you live nearby.

    steph: He punched Daddy. In the balls.

    Piper: Thank you! I'm going to update the post with the link :)

    DP: Clearly you overestimate my talents. But we'll see. If I can get my cats to do the backup vocals, we might have a deal.

    Bea: As you might have noticed, I'm a fan of theft myself.

    Cat: I'll never tell. Unless you offer me a real-live unicorn. With rainbow hair. And glittery piss.

    Ms.C: I'm feeling defensive about my paper. And its noise.

    nova: What else am I supposed to do with them? They do come as a set, you know. Here in America anyway. Silly Canadian!

    Nicki: I wanted the cats to make an appearance but they were too busy...eh, I'd rather not say.

    allison: AGAIN WITH THE PAPER

    kmcaffee: I'll give him back his paper if he gives me back my pre-pregnancy tits.

    Jayme: Thanks! I'm thinking of wearing my purple fleece feetie PJ's next time, so prepare accordingly.

    Carebear: And here I was thinking the same thing about YOU.

    Beta: I think I'll bring it up this week in therapy. The handwriting. And the theft.

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  19. I loved it.

    Especially the gingerbreadman pajamas.

    And the "OH SHIT!" part.

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  20. Awesome Vlog especially the last 5 seconds w/hubby. Confirmation for me that you are just like all of us, just funnier. Can't wait for #2. This should get nominated for some award down the road. Priceless.

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  21. This is good stuff. I think the wardrobe department did a great job. This reminded me of that old INXS song with the flashcards. I think they all wore Christmas pajamas too. Or maybe not.

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  22. AHHHHHhhhhhhahaha *thumbs up* :)

    awesome funny quirkyness to the max in every one of your posts.
    THAT is why I always read your blog - it puts a smile on my face & occasionally makes me laugh hard enough on the inside, that it comes out of my face

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  23. I have one question?

    Actually its a statement. You seem to be wearing a gingerbread and candy themed pajama frock.

    I absolutely love this!

    I fact I was wondering if I could buy it from you. Its looks like it may be an antique so I am willing to offer you 40 grand for the outfit.

    Assuming there are no holes, stains, or actual gingerbread men that come to life looking for their home late a night.

    What do you say? Will you accept pay pal?

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  24. crafty post - the chorus for that song is, "what are you thinking of?" ...just sayin' ;)

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  25. I think the PJ's should be a regular feature or at least a copy of the pattern, very cool, I can see them on the Milan catwalks next year.

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  26. awesome :) you did a great job and my husband? yeah, he would have done the same thing. Awesome pjs by the way... I still wear my festive flannels as well :)

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  27. So cute. And creative. When I was growing up, I had the second song on a 45. Also, I love your dressing gown or pajamas or whatever. Thanks for letting us "see" you.

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  28. OMG! That was GREAT! LOL!!!! Loved the last part, "What are you doing???". . . Hope to see more!

    http://lookingforloveinla.blogspot.com

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  29. Dude, you stole from your own child? (not like stealing from another child makes it better.) The least you could have done was use the back side to save paper. Sorry, I've been spending too much time in San Francisco. At work, we recycle AND compost.

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  30. My favorite part was watching you work your way through the permutations of the "Emo Face" — like you were trying to find the right one to fit your mood and express your very complex emotions, but couldn't settle on a single answer so, instead, you gave us kind of a shifting melange of facial expressions.

    Very moving.

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  31. Epic. An award worthy performance, to be sure. And I don't think it's too soon to say that sharpie might be up for a supporting role, too.

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  32. So cute. And creative. When I was growing up, I had the second song on a 45. Also, I love your dressing gown or pajamas or whatever. Thanks for letting us "see" you.

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  33. awesome :) you did a great job and my husband? yeah, he would have done the same thing. Awesome pjs by the way... I still wear my festive flannels as well :)

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  34. This is good stuff. I think the wardrobe department did a great job. This reminded me of that old INXS song with the flashcards. I think they all wore Christmas pajamas too. Or maybe not.

    ReplyDelete
  35. I have one question?

    Actually its a statement. You seem to be wearing a gingerbread and candy themed pajama frock.

    I absolutely love this!

    I fact I was wondering if I could buy it from you. Its looks like it may be an antique so I am willing to offer you 40 grand for the outfit.

    Assuming there are no holes, stains, or actual gingerbread men that come to life looking for their home late a night.

    What do you say? Will you accept pay pal?

    ReplyDelete
  36. love the vlog, giggled all through. keep up the good work,,, i will have to steal the idea tho....launch it in the UK.
    much love
    xx

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