Monday, September 20, 2010

Stuck Me With a Sickness

If there's one thing about me I'll admit to, it's that you do NOT want to be around me when I'm sick.  (You also don't want to play board games with me when I've been drinking wine, but that's another story for another day.)

It took exactly three visits to preschool before PlusOne brought home his first plague virus.  THREE.  For a germaphobe like myself, these odds do NOT help me refrain from wiping him down with germX every time we leave the place.  Because I'm totally going to from now on.  I might even spray his teacher and classmates down with some Lysol as I'm dropping him off.

He was sick for only two days or so, but that was enough to make for one night of NOSLEEP! By three am, I was literally pleading with him. I may have even been whining.  In between sticking the thermometer in his ear every 15 minutes because how is your fever only going down half a degree?!  I spent my time dozing off and googling IS FEVER DEADLY.  By the time he was feeling better, T9 picked up the bug, making for night two of NOSLEEP! He wasn't having any of my whining, however, and often threatened with those dangerous sounding burps.  I'd eyeball him suspiciously and shield my face from impending vomit, but it was all a ploy.  Clever, that boy. 

Yesterday, confident they'd come through the worst of it, I tucked them in and got in bed with my book.  Eventually, I fell asleep hopeful for a full night's rest, only to wake up every hour or so myself because MY NOSE IS FULL OF CONCRETE and OH, MY GOD! MY GLANDS! IT'S CANCER! CANCER FOR SURE!



I told you.  I'm an impossible person when I'm sick. My husband? He usually rolls his eyes and hides for a few days when I come down with something.  Right now, for example, he's napping.  I did not marry a stupid man, people.  Though, the fact that he never seems to catch these same bugs makes me wonder if I did marry a non-carbon based life form. 

Anyway, all this is really just to tell you that I'm sitting here, breathing through my mouth because my nose is so clogged that my ears pop when I swallow water.  And I'm pretty sure I can smell my own boogers.  Which is kind of neat in a gross way, because HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!

I think I should look into homeschooling.  Or, rather, becoming rich so I can hire a live-in teacher.  And doctor.  And auto-disinfecting robots. 

32 comments:

  1. I love the smell of my own boogers. It's like a cross between gasoline and cut grass smell.

    I'm messed up. I know this.

    Feel better soon!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I remember the days of daycare, preschool, and school when the kiddies were little. Someone was alway 'effin sick in our household during that time. Hopefully you get feeling better soon and build up some resistance to the tiny little germ carriers your kids come into contact with.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I've smelled my own boogers before. It's disgusting, but it IS interesting! Took me a while to figure out it was my boogers I was smelling tho. I don't know what the hell I thought it was, but not boogers!

    Anyhoo, hope you feel better soon! I heart you!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well,do you feel much better now?Take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My boogers smell like butter. Weird, I know.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poor thing, feel better! My dh never, ever gets sick and looks at me like I have two heads when I do, because sick?? What's SICK?? LOL Plus I usually catch it from my kids and get five times sicker than they could ever dream of. Ugh, I feel your pain!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Funny, when my nose is full o'mucus, I generally can't smell much, including the said mucus.

    Snot funny.
    )get better!(
    Scratch

    ReplyDelete
  9. Im a whiny wench when Im sick but I turn into a little cuddle bug. haha. I want people around me. I hope you feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  10. i can't smell my boogers, really. because i have both of my nostrils pierced. so i smell that. yes, seriously. all piercings have this smell to them, because of lymph and soap and dead skin cells that congregate there. even though i wash my piercings every day, it still happens.

    *sniff* eh, i'm used to it, i guess. it doesn't smell BAD, just, like, it smells.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I am not pleasant to be around when I am sick either.. about a year ago I had a bout with H1N1 and I was probably more tolerable with that then I am with the common cold because I was wiped out. I didn't even have the energy to whine! How sad!

    SD
    http://simpledudecomplexworld.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm totally with you! I would imagine my germ-a-phobia and neat-freakiness borders on OCD. If you're up for it, I could contact some colleagues in the bioengineering and physics departments to begin construction on Disinfecto-Bot! We could go 50/50 on profit?

    ReplyDelete
  13. those kids... they are a magnet for germs. Yuck. Feel better! p.s. I'm a 'case' when it comes to drinking and board games too! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. EVERYONE I know is sick right now. My sister was home from college this weekend, with a cold and possible ear infection. I've been waking up with a bit of a sore throat and slightly stuffy nose, so I've been chugging water and vitamin C...unfortunately, I'm peeing every 2 minutes, but hopefully I'll escape the bug. Feel better!

    ReplyDelete
  15. My Love is the cold-catching in our family. I credit my health to got genes and the fact that alcohol kills everything. Including my, uh .... my .... brrrr ... braaa ... hey, where am I?

    ReplyDelete
  16. When I'm sick, the husband looks at me with great disdain and says, "I better not get that! I cannot be sick!" Which I think means I have a tumor.

    Feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  17. If this turns into something big, like needing brain surgery to pull out the snot, who will keep us humored? Get well soon!

    ReplyDelete
  18. i hate being sick as well and i am very cranky when i am

    http://becca-mycrazystuff.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  19. I hate being sick!, but luckily i was a dirt lockin kid when i was young so my immune system is like a brick wall! Feel Better soon though!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I was going to leave another clever message about being sick, smelling boogers etc., but I got distracted by all the screen names of your followers..what a bunch. Btw, I spray all the kids that come into my classroom with Lysol, sometimes though I pickup the Raid by mistake.....
    Feel better

    www.alexsblogginglife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  21. Maybe you think being miserable when your sick makes other people annoyed.

    Okay...you're right about that.

    Get well.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Aw, sorry you're feeling so --

    HEY, WHOA! DON'T BREATHE ON ME! DON'T BREATHE ON ME! COULD YOU AT LEAST TURN YOUR HEAD?

    Geez.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I feel like my boogers smell like Elmer's glue sometimes...and I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. All this dialog about the smell of boogers is testing my gag reflex.
    I admire your ability to keep wit and humor in tact despite illness.
    Hope you feel better soon.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I used to get sick, but then I discovered L. Ron Hubbard.

    ReplyDelete
  26. hmmm...and I thought I was the only one who thinks about spraying the little germ magnets down with Lysol...interesting...

    ReplyDelete
  27. You know what that "booger" smell is? Pus. Yup. Because your sinuses are infected. My wife's a doctor, and she told me that. Pretty disgusting, no? Anyway, I hope that makes you feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What if it is cancer?

    Think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  29. What if it is cancer?

    Think about it.

    ReplyDelete
  30. When I'm sick, the husband looks at me with great disdain and says, "I better not get that! I cannot be sick!" Which I think means I have a tumor.

    Feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  31. My Love is the cold-catching in our family. I credit my health to got genes and the fact that alcohol kills everything. Including my, uh .... my .... brrrr ... braaa ... hey, where am I?

    ReplyDelete
  32. those kids... they are a magnet for germs. Yuck. Feel better! p.s. I'm a 'case' when it comes to drinking and board games too! :)

    ReplyDelete