Thursday, August 26, 2010

Please. Like Chicken *Doesn't* Remind You of Boobs.

My husband and I were in bed watching TV last night when this commercial came on:


We paid particular attention to this scene:

Maybe you'd like some privacy, ma'am?

Guys, she was full on groping that piece of raw chicken with her palm.  I'm not gonna lie. It was sexual in nature.

Husband: I don't know a single person that holds chicken like that.

Me: Seriously.

You know why? Because raw chicken is gross. So, unless that person is an aficionado of the sex toy industry and has accidentally mistaken his "REAL LIFE J**Z T**S" with his raw chicken, I don't know, in the dark of the night, then there is absolutely no reason to be fondling food.  (I know. Censoring on my blog? I'm sorry, but I just cannot bring myself to say "jizz" and "tits" in the same sentence.  Gross.  And you know WHY it's gross?!  Because it reminds everyone in the world of RAW CHICKEN and no one likes to touch RAW CHICKEN.)

Get a frickin' room.

(And I'll spare you my critique of garbage boy and HIS fantasies.)

17 comments:

  1. Eeeeeww, I totally agree! I hate handling raw chicken. No one should be enjoying the feel of raw meat in their hands that much. That's just wrong.

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  2. Handling the chicken isn't so bad, but I never full-on grope it like that. Grab the pointy piece at the bottom and lay it on the grill.

    It's the sort of...ewww...feeling that coats my hands after I put the chicken on the grill that bothers me. Like, I know I touched that with my fingertips, but I think my entire forearm needs to be scrubbed now.

    Why did you censor "Jazz taps"?

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  3. we were just discussing how over-acty these infomercial people are. the snuggy people get sooo upset when they can't get their hands out of the blanket to change the channel!

    and yes. those are actually chicken boobs. so....

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  4. give me a minute while I take this piece of raw chicken from my bra...yeah, that's totally gross.

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  5. But isn't it nice to know that when you DO handle J**z T**s, you have a product that will help keep your hands fresh and sparkling clean with a revolutionary new hand soap system?

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  6. If groping your chicken is wrong, I don't want to be right.

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  7. What the heck? How did anyone think that was OK to put on the air?????

    Grab it by the end and fling down into the pan.

    Voila...

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  8. I like the no-touch hand cleaner/paper towel dispensers they got now. They're SO cool... and kinda creepy all at once. It's like they're *watching you*... ;)

    Have a good weekend :)
    Scratch

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  9. Oh c'mon, it's not like she was rubbing mayonnaise onto bratwurst only to lick off the excess. Say, that reminds me...

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  10. I think we can all be thankful that they cut out the part when she climbs onto the counter an begins humping the chicken.

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  11. i would fork it.

    ;) hahaha totally kidding, but not really

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  12. designed to make your life more EXPENSIVE. seriously who is going to waste their money on this. i will battle the germs on my soap pump. this seems like a waste of money, that will end up in the unused gadgets closet.

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  13. I detest this commercial for similar reasons: the hand *on* (all over) the garbage is the deal-breaker for me, no one smushes trash w/ all 5 fingers fondling the stank from tips to palms! It's strictly forefinger tip to thumb tip w/ all other phalanges hyper-extended so as to avoid unnecessary contamination!
    And, technically, you only touch a soap pumper when hands are dirty, then immediately washed; pumper doesn't need to be 'clean'. It's not like a dirty faucet that needs turning off only to re-contaminate clean hands.

    I'm glad someone else noticed this ridiculousness!

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  14. I think we can all be thankful that they cut out the part when she climbs onto the counter an begins humping the chicken.

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  15. we were just discussing how over-acty these infomercial people are. the snuggy people get sooo upset when they can't get their hands out of the blanket to change the channel!

    and yes. those are actually chicken boobs. so....

    ReplyDelete