Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Dialogue in Mirror is Larger Than it Appears

Him: So, I guess I won't tell you that I just found our son in the bathroom. Because that would make you mad.

Me: SOMEONE LEFT THE GATE OPEN?

Him: He was only in there for a second!

Me: He tries to climb into the toilet!

Him: I washed his hands! ... And feet!

Me: HE WAS IN THE TOILET?!

Him: [sustained, muffled laughter]



*****

Me: Thanks for fixing that HTML stuff, darling husband.  

Him: Yeah, yeah.  

Me: I hope you realize, that my blog makes no cash, and that all funds I DID have are being held hostage by Google Ads.  In other words, I hope you don't expect to be compensated.

Him: You expect me to work pro bono?!

Me: Well, I am your wife.

Him: True.  Okay, I'll do Pro Boner.

Me: Sigh.

*****

Him: YOU SPENT HOW MUCH ON GROCERIES THIS MONTH?!

Me: Wait, this isn't funny enough for my blog, babe.

Him: I'm sorry.  Ahem.  YOU SPENT HOW MUCH ON FUCKING GROCERIES THIS MONTH?!

Me:  Thanks, love. [Scurries away to computer.]

*****
PS: For those interested, I'll be doing another Product of Silence post this week. This time I was inspired by a moving post by The Domesticated Bohemian.  Feel like joining me?  Grab the button!

Also, I was featured over at Indie Ink yesterday. And, as a disclaimer (or in case you are curious like the perspicacious Mr. London Street), the poem is not a proper sonnet, no.  I wrote it years ago and edited it down.  When I submitted the poem, I didn't remember to reconsider the title.  But you should still fall down over it and offer me a book deal just the same.


10 comments:

  1. Since -er is a comparative ending, and "bon" is a root mean "good", and "pro" is Latin for "for"...your husband is clearly "working for the better".

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  2. That's how I've started answering the phone. "Feel free to say something really funny because I don't have a post yet for today."

    In other news, that doesn't seem to be working.

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  3. Pro boner.

    *snicker*

    That must be a man thing.

    Scratch

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  4. yeah i know a guy that offers me all kinds of jobs PRO BONER.

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  5. Of course, "sonnet" is an anagram of "no tens".

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  6. Do what I did: inform all your friends and relatives that if they can't provide you with one liners you can use as springboards for your own snappy blogworthy retorts, they shouldn't approach you.

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  7. I tell them the same thing here, If it's not going to be blog fodder, save your breath...

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  8. Hehehe, this made me giggle. Maybe because I've caught my toddler in the toilet, more times than I want to think about. Sigh.

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  9. MJenks: Mmmhmm. I believe this would be his reasoning.

    Buggin: Some people are just so selfish, right?

    Scratch: I don't know how I didn't see it coming ;)

    SM: I totally thought you wrote "all kinds of guys" rather than "all kinds of jobs" and was a bit concerned for your welfare.

    London: HA! Of course it is! My sonnet has been boiled down to snark and puns. Probably appropriate.

    DP: Does this work for the kids, too? 'Cuz that'd be pretty sweet. They're not always as clever as they think.

    Empress: I'm thinking of making t-shirts.

    Veronica: I'm glad it's not unique to this house. I kind of wanted to dip him in a vat of rubbing alcohol.

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  10. Pro boner.

    *snicker*

    That must be a man thing.

    Scratch

    ReplyDelete