Friday, May 7, 2010

I'll Agree to Anything if You JUST LET ME SLEEP

After many months of arguing thoughtful and careful deliberation, my husband brought home a gaming system last Friday.


Now, let me assure you that this was all based on a very logical plan that was presented to me, often late at night while I was asleep, and when he would push my lips around with his finger to force an inaudible, agreeing grunt.

Before he brought them home, he called me from the store to get the final okay. I heard some intermittent beeping coming from his end of the line, so I assume he retained a lawyer just in case. I relented. The late nights and regretful utterances were coming back to me now and I felt compelled to trust his judgment. Plus, lawyers are dodgy. Just watch Breaking Bad.

And besides, I'd told myself, we'd already agreed not to let the kids know what the contraptions are. Plus One would live in a neverending land of PLEAD and SCREAM if he knew A GAME! A GAME! A GAME! was perpetually resting next to the cable box for him to TRY IT! TRY IT! CAN I TRY IT!?

"Just bring home a game that you and I can play, maybe. This can be a compromise for my yearning for iPhone Mancala matches."

"Sure, sounds good."

When he came home, over budget and overflowing with bags, one of the first things he said as I started peeking around was, "I might be in trouble with my game choices."

So now, as if my life and sanity depends on it (because, let's face it: IT DOES) my mission is Operation KEEP GAME HIDDEN until the child is 10 or so years old. That's about seven years from now. Doing the math in my head, I'm realizing that seven years is roughly six times the length I've ever maintained ANYTHING.

This should go pretty smoothly, I'm guessing.


  1. 1) Good luck with that whole hiding the game thing. Kids can literally smell new media in the house -- they're oddly feral that way.

    2) I was all full of King of the Castle bravado when I drove down to BestBuy last year to buy our Wii.... but still called my wife from the store at the last minute, scared to do so without making sure I had her permission.

    3) I find your blog pretty much wonderful. Me Follower now.

  2. Let me know how it goes and what your secret is :)

  3. The good news is that in 7 years the gaming console, his interest in it and your patience with him will all be obsolete.

    Sometimes, knowing that these things will work themselves out in the end is the best remedy for any pain you may be currently suffering.

  4. Great comments so far. Especially the spam . . .

    Is one of the systems a PS3? If so, then I highly recommend Little Big Planet. Much fun . . .

    Enjoy the games, my friend.

  5. Never have I been so lucky when I hit the "next blog" button. One time I did it, I came across a German breastfeeding blog, I shit you not. But yeah. You have a new follower. Keep up the good work, lady.

  6. I'm pretty sure that if they're not already playing with the Wii, they will be soon. Kids have radar for videogames and will turn rabid if not allowed to play.

    That's something most people don't know. Saw it on Discovery or something.

    I mean, Good Luck!!! You can do it!!!