Friday, April 16, 2010

Driving Miss Jersey Shore

The other day, driving home:

Him: So, how can you tell if a woman dyes her hair?

Me: You just look at the roots. (Duh.)

Him: But, I guess I don't see how you can tell that way.

Me: [Showing him my scalp] Well, see this line here? How it's kinda different from this one?

Him: Uhhh...not really. I'm kind of driving.

Me: [Shoving my head closer to his eyeballs] RIGHT HERE!

Him: Lady, I can't see the road!

Me: [Slumping back in my seat with a dramatic sigh.]

Him: I guess the only real way is...

Me: OH. Is this all a ploy to talk about curtains matching the drapes?

Him: Um, the expression is "carpet" and "drapes."

Me: Oh. Right. Yeah, I guess I don't use that one much, do I?

*****

So, last night I had a dream that I was working for the maintenance department of my community, passing out keys. Then, my husband's friend tried to make out with me after I told him that I was the newest cast member on The Jersey Shore.


The saddest part? I *clearly* remember thinking (in my dream), WOW, this whole ordeal is going to make a stellar blog post.

(Still working on that get-out-of-the-house thing, needless to say.)

14 comments:

  1. Love the photo...you are a shoe in!

    Taking my daughter to school this morning I pointed out that our cherry tree is about ready to burst into bloom. I told her that we needed to come out and take some photos. She said, "What...are you going to make a blog post about it?"

    I am just too readable.
    Sigh.
    :-)

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  2. i can't speak for ALL New Jersians, but as a tried and true "jersey girl" <----- HATE that term btw, i can honestly say that "yo" is a frequent part of my vernacular.
    as in...
    "what up, yo?" or "put THAT in your pipe and smoke it, yo." OR, just the standard and singular "YO!"
    it's ridiculously multi-faceted.
    imma be following your blog now, yo...

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  3. you are not tan enough. or annoying enough.

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  4. All I can think about when I see the "Jersey Shore" people is nipples.

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  5. I don't know from Jersey, and have never watched Jersey Shore. I'd better go catch up. Thanks for the laugh, yo!

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  6. If you did get cast for the Jersey Shore...I wonder what the over/under would be on how many times you get shit-faced drunk and try to fight (and subsequently make out with) each of your fellow cast members.

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  7. They are making a Jersey Shore knock-off show by the same producers here in Boston called "MassHoles".

    Stereotypes are my faveorite.

    But I love the roots convo

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  8. the career switch from community maintenance key passer outer to jersey shore cast member where you will work at a tee shirt shop is totally my life long dream...get outta my dreams and into my car, yo!

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  9. Me: OH. Is this all a ploy to talk about curtains matching the drapes?

    My husband also tries to provide "lead ins" to the conversations he wants to have. Never fails to make me roll my eyes (it's secretly one of the things I love about him)

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  10. I prefer to ask if the cuffs match the collar.

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  11. I like the way your hubs thinks.

    Color coordination is important.

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  12. You'd so rock Jersey Shore! Especially with those roots showing... you could start a whole new fashion trend!

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  13. I prefer to ask if the cuffs match the collar.

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  14. Me: OH. Is this all a ploy to talk about curtains matching the drapes?

    My husband also tries to provide "lead ins" to the conversations he wants to have. Never fails to make me roll my eyes (it's secretly one of the things I love about him)

    ReplyDelete