Sunday, March 14, 2010

The ZZZ is Silent

Okay, here comes my attempt at making an official comeback. With The Hub home recuperating from his should surgery, I've been trying to make like I don't waste my time online all day. Which, you know, forced me to not waste my time online all day.

Anyway, screw that. There's only so much productivity I can take. So, let me fill you in on what you've missed over the past two weeks:

1. My freaking birthday. I'm more firmly and undeniably a member of the 30 year-old club. (Please send chocolate.)

2. My sisters in-law came up for a visit. I showed them the sights of my neighborhood which included some outlet shopping, pastries and bagels, and gang warfare.

3. T9 battled a raging fever and subsequently broke out into a fearsome, grotesque rash. After installing a decontamination chamber in our entryway, I realized it was just from his MMR shot. (I'm still wearing head-to-toe latex, just in case.)

But lists are kind of boring, right? So here's some tidbits that I would've turned into blog posts had I not come down with a case of mock-productivity.

Ahem.

[Scene: Movie night with The Hub. Kids asleep, popcorn popped and nearly entirely consumed by myself before the opening credits have finished.]

The Hub: You want a glass of wine?

Me: No, thanks. I'm feeling dehydrated.

The Hub: Not even a little glass?

Me: No, I'm good.

The Hub: We have these little tasting glasses from that vineyard...

Me: I don't want any.

The Hub: Are you sure?

Me: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING ME.

The Hub: I love you?

*****

[Scene: Borders bookstore, in front of the Easter Book display. Drinking coffee and browsing with my good friend, Lisa.]

Me: This book looks cute, but it's all about the Easter Bunny. Maybe I should get the Jesus book to balance it out. I don't want to be too heathenish.

Lisa: Which one?

Me: [Flipping through the pages.] It's called The Easter Story or something...Jesus appears to be the main character.

Lisa: That would be the one!

Me: Wait...I don't know...there's a lot of death and stuff in here.

Lisa: In which?

Me: The Jesus book. I don't know if it's fitting for a nervous three year-old.

Lisa: Oh yeah, Jesus. Forget it.

Me: You want some of my vanilla scone?

Lisa: Nah, I gave up sweets for Lent.

*****

Oh, and I saw this commercial last night. I'm losing faith in humanity.



(I've missed you guys.)




15 comments:

  1. Glad you're back.

    The Jesus & Lent thing was funny.

    And now I'm going to Hell for laughing at it, so thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I knew something was missing in my life lately!

    Nice to see you again :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. You're featured on Studio30, and now I'm stalking you.

    You're so pretty when you pick your nose all alone in the public bathroom stall when you think no one is watching. Natural-like.

    Can I have your nail clippings?

    (This all means I like your blog, and I'm gonna read it a whole bunch.)

    ReplyDelete
  4. 18 essential amino acids?! Does that include lysine? I'm lacking that specific amino acid from my diet.

    Welcome back.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Welcome Back, Kristine! I don't know how they got from Jesus to the Easter Bunny.... strange. I prefer to "passover" both of them.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ed: Misery loves company, pal-i-o.

    NotBenny: I can only presume you're talking about the pillow. When's your birthday?

    SarahP: Promises, promises. If I don't have to seek a restraining order, you're just not trying enough.

    p-huong: You're ALSO lacking a Beauty SilkZ, aren't you?! (!?!?!)

    CatLady: Last year I somehow got my kid calling them MAGIC EGGS during the Easter Egg Hunt in our back yard. I consider myself lucky not to have been struck down on the spot.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like the speed of your funny. Nice.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Easter bunny=chocolate
    Jesus=no chocolate

    No brainer!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Only $19.99! How do you make any money? Oh, the $42 Sipping and Processing.

    Happy Birthday!

    http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/HxxguxZGtzYUY1Me

    ReplyDelete
  10. Happy belated birthday. I just found your blog (Studio30) and I can't believe I have never been here before so now I'll be stalking.
    Excuse me I need to go order a SilkZ and get gorgeous by tomorrow. Oh, of course it works, the lady said so....

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm wearing my hazmat suit this week. Just for fun, though.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Glad you're back.

    The Jesus & Lent thing was funny.

    And now I'm going to Hell for laughing at it, so thanks.

    ReplyDelete