Anyway, here's an update on my life. Try to remain seated. It's exciting shit.
1. I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that my new mustache trimmer is forcing me to break out with monstrous zits. So now I have to choose whether I'd like go around looking like a pre-pubescent teenaged girl or a hairy, elderly old woman. I haven't yet decided which is hotter. I imagine NOT having the upper-lip-hair gene would be hottest.
2. Last night as I was falling asleep, I realized that I was pretending to be J-Lo and giving an interview to a reporter about Perez Hilton. Like, I was having a conversation with an imaginary friend that included coherent questions and responses. With myself. As someone else.
This is what I do with my time, people. WHEN I'M NOT EVEN TRYING.
3. The other day, I was driving the kids home from Grandma's when I saw this truck on the road.
I was way more excited than my three-year old son who is kind of obsessed with trucks. As in, I totally took a picture with my cell phone. As in, maybe I clapped a little. So yeah, way more excited. The point here is that I haven't yet decided if this means I'm lame or if he is. I think it's me. (Refer to #'s 1. and 2.)
3. I had an appointment with a new shrink the other day and I was struck by the fact that he looks EXACTLY like the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I can't even tell you how remarkable it was. It took all my will power NOT to tell the man how much he looked like this nameless 80s icon. In fact, I was concentrating so hard on what not to say, that I forgot to pay attention to what I was saying. At one point I told him that the fact that he's booking appointments so far in advance must mean he's got a surge in clients. And, that's "great!" You know, for business. The business of crazy people.
(That includes me. He gave me a prescription.)