Friday, November 20, 2009

At Least I'm Not Incarcerated

My reunion was supposed to happen two years ago. I graduated in 1997. But I guess the class president was in charge of that, and she clearly has no desire to see any of us again.

I know particularly that she wouldn't want to see me. I once spilled bleach on her Nautica jacket during photography class and she started a campaign to make me pay her $200 for the trouble. I didn't, even after her mother called my house. Because I'm a stubborn bitch that way and she was totally being mega-rude about how I ruined her coat.

Bitch.

Anyway, they've finally scraped one together and it's tomorrow night. Lucky for me, I've contracted the plague, so I think all my sneezing and sniffling with detract from how pointy my nose and chin have gotten. Also, I bought some really killer fucking shoes, and if that doesn't spell S-U-C-C-E-S-S, I don't know what does. (Hopefully the matching bag.)

But here's what you really came for; my high school graduation portrait. It was before I grew to appreciate the ability to see. Clearly, my ability to do my own hair has always been an issue. (BTW, this is not even close to how awful my "Sexy People" picture would be--have you VOTED yet?):


Click to enlarge/print poster for your family room.

Actually, I totally rock it better these days. Screw that noise. I'm not *that* down on myself. (Well, except in the thighandass department. But luckily it's not *that* kind of party.)

And I'm actually kind of excited. I was kind of a recluse in high school, sticking fiercely to my small circle of (3) friends. Which means there will be no awkward meetings of ex boyfriends or obnoxious former girlfriends. ALSO, there was this major drug bust in my home town last week which rounded up like 20 former classmates. So if I'm not all that impressive, well, at least I'm not incarcerated.


16 comments:

  1. We didn't have a reunion until 17 years after the fact. I went, and now I understand why.

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  2. 1. that pic is way better than about 98% of our class, mine included. do you remember my horrific tan lines that they 'forgot' to airbrush? your hair even held a curl for more than 15 min that day :)

    2. if any bitches try to start shit will you back me up by using our stillettos (sp?) as weapons? you know the trashy crowd from the other side of town is going, and they have nothing better to do than pick on us outcasts...

    3. you know i'm only going for YOU right???? and also so i have a place to wear my fabulous new skinny jeans :)

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  3. I never went to any of my class reunions because there is no way those old boyfriends could handle all this hotness.

    haahaaa, just kidding. I got fat. That's why I never went.

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  4. maybe i said that all wrong before, take two:

    as we sit in the corner not interacting with most of our classmates, we can tell ourselves that it's because they're so intimidated by our hotness and not at all because we're socially awkward. just like we did 12.5 years ago.

    :) (smiley face)

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  5. "Why did you bring bleach to photography class," the district attorney asked as he paced back and forth in front of the trembling defendant.

    "Er, Would you believe I thought it was Home Ec.," she sheepishly replied.

    "Oh, okay. Case dismissed!" Crowd cheers, Class President stammers then stamps out of the court room.

    A sly smile slinks across the defendant's face.

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  6. LL: This may be the case tomorrow night...

    Lana: Ilk to #3 of comment #1 (this is confusing). Don't play martyr on me. And *exactly* to comment #2. :) <------!

    Miss Y: I'm pretty sure the only people that will care about the weight I've gained are the people I hated...which was kind of like everyone. So, right. Should be fun!

    LGBG: EXACTLY. There's a big long boring story behind it, but yeah. She was really OTT about the whole thing.

    Cortico: As I was telling LGBG, we were told not to wear/bring any fancy clothes that day becasue we were using bleach to alter our photos. She didn't listen. I bumped into something and some splashed on her Marshall's-bought jacket and tried to make it like I'd killed her puppy. Soo, here's to hoping she's not around these parts anymore!

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  7. My senior class girls decided to take our pictures wearing feathers. Fucking feathers.

    And I also have 'the tall', so I felt like big fucking bird. Yay. :)

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  8. I think your hair looks awesome in this photo. It has that 1997 body to it.

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  9. A high school reunion in November? Interesting. Love the photo... you look so refined and elegant! Enjoy!

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  10. My class reunion sucked. But have fun!

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  11. I thought you looked great....And I also thought you were reclusive because you were tripping face in English class all the time.

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  12. I'm retroactively jealous of your full-bodied 90's hair.

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  13. See, the only reason I'd consider going to my high school reunion is so people can see how much better my hair looks than in the late 90s :) This is way after the fact but looks like you had fun. I refuse to go to mine, even though it should have been in 08 and nobody bothered to plan one. I know what everyone's doing via Facebook stalking and it's basically the same thing they were going 11 years ago, so what's the point?

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  14. I thought you looked great....And I also thought you were reclusive because you were tripping face in English class all the time.

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  15. I never went to any of my class reunions because there is no way those old boyfriends could handle all this hotness.

    haahaaa, just kidding. I got fat. That's why I never went.

    ReplyDelete