Wednesday, October 21, 2009

You say HECKLER, I Say FLIRT

I'm pretty sure I left you all with an unreasonable amount of anticipation yesterday. What, with not knowing of I'm alive or not.

(Some people probably *could* die from phobia-cum-panic-attack right?)

Anyway, here is a little summary of how my presentation went:

AHEM.

Me: [Presentation! Research! Charts! Data! BLAHBLAHBLAH] And, that's pretty much it...I guess that's "The End!"

[Pause...]

Students: [Uproarious OVATION!]

Me: [BlushBlushHIVES.] So, any questions?

StudentX: [Gruff voice, sitting in the back corner.] Um, yeah, I've got a question here...

Me: Great!

StudentX: Well, if you look back at slide 13, it appears you've got some confusion about the M-DASH and the N-DASH...do you know the difference...?

Me: [Unsure if I heard him correctly.] I'm sorry, did you say EM-DASH?

StudentX: [Bastardly Smirk. Breathy, sighing laugh. Flipping papers.] Heh, Yeah...riiiight...well, let me show you...

Me: [Meekly. Dry throat. HIVESHIVESHIVES.] Oh...right....sure, thank you.

Sure, he was editing my PowerPoint. Sure, he was condescending and pompous. But it's not like he was charging me for it or anything. And, in fact, I'm pretty sure he was totalling coming on to me.

NOTE: For those of you who are still confused, here is an EN DASH:

"-"

And here is the EM DASH:

"--"

I was half expecting him to slowly take off his shirt while he queued up his iPod to some Jamiroquai. He was SO flirting.

_____

For those of you interested, my little gig on The Man Time Show will be tomorrow at 1pm EST. But if you don't hear it live, those guys put up the podcast pretty quickly thereafter, so don't fret. But you should probably completely clear your schedule just in case.

14 comments:

  1. Funny, I thought those were hyphen and dash.

    Hyphen and Dash also sounds like an awesome title for a buddy cop show. Like, they could be the grammar police.

    Guy on date: Yeah, I've been training for this marathon for months. It's a lot of work.

    Girl on date: Oh, I love running, especially for distance. Even so, I like to temporarily slow the pace. It helps to casually run from time to time on long runs. I like going slow to periodically rest my heart rate.

    *door busts in*

    Hyphen: Stop right there! You're in violation of Code 7920, Section E.3: egregious abuse of the split infinitive.

    Dash: Anything you say can and will be used against you in the Court of Punctuation.

    Hyphen: Scum like you are what makes my job so satisfying. *slaps cuffs on Girl on a date*

    Dash: Book 'em, Hyphen.


    I think this can work.

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  2. Asshole! I'd M-DASH him if I were you.

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  3. I say asswipe. But so obvious he wants you.

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  4. LMAO! This guy either wants you or wants your job!

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  5. Oh, for future reference:
    em dash —
    No double dashing.
    You see how I was just a jerk right there? That WAS flirting. So, ahem, you should call me sometime, okay?!

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  6. TIM: Right? This guy was all "Well, I work as an EDITOR, soooo..." And I was all, "...sooo what?" And he was all BURRRRN!

    CatLady: He was so smirky that I was having a hard time not laughing.

    LGBG: Right? Please. AS IF.

    AiW: Since I don't have a "job-job" then all signs point to my pants. Or him eyeing my pants...or something innuendo-y like that.

    gina: Dude, Blogger wasn't converting it for me! You are a trashy flirt, you...you...EDITOR! *wink* (Here's where people our parents age would be all blushy and "You are SO BAD!")

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  7. He pointed out the difference between "--" and "_"???? I'd call him a nerd.

    Great blog!!!
    Cheers, from your newest follower:
    Holli in Ghana

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  8. I guess you could have made it worse for him and been like "Okay, and, yeah, they can't find those a dime a dozen on the street corner, hyphen man. Next?"

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  9. ohhhh he's gonna be a smartass bartender one day. undeserving of your greater learning.

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  10. I want a life size cut out of that guy in my room.

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  11. ohhhh he's gonna be a smartass bartender one day. undeserving of your greater learning.

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  12. LMAO! This guy either wants you or wants your job!

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  13. Asshole! I'd M-DASH him if I were you.

    ReplyDelete