Sunday, October 11, 2009

Should I Dig Up My Old BFF Necklace, Too?*

So, I'm 30 and everything, and kind of waiting to experience this 30something meltdown or what-have-you. Or, wait---is it supposed to happen at 40? I'm so bad at coordinating my crises.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that maybe I'm seeing signs of such things sinister. Saturday, I went to the MALL, after I think like a two year hiatus. Me and the mall used to be pretty TIGHT. Like, I practically lived there until my credit gave out and the security guard found me sleeping in the linens at JC Penney.

So I had to go cold turkey. Break-ups like that don't work any other way. Especially when there's a restraining order involved. Going back the other day, therefore, was relatively dangerous.

First I got a haircut and managed not to ask for extensions, full-foils (what the fuck is that shit, evn?! It costs like $150!), or nail tips. Then I started to stroll. And while it didn't hit me at first, I realized on the drive home that I was certainly regressing. And not even to my 20-something days of blowing cash on trashy outfits from Express.

No, no, friends. I went full speed back to about AGE FOURTEEN. Don't believe me? Take a gander at these here stores which I visited:

1. Claire's Boutique
2. Hot Topic
3. The Gwen Stefani Fragrance Counter at Macy's

::frowny face::

People. And my bags? What I brought home? There are sequins (purse). There is glitter (lipstick). And then...then, well, I BOUGHT THIS:

And let's remember the TWILIGHT thing. Not that I'm counting down to the movie or anything...

And since you brought it up, did you know that freaking Nordstrom sells LIFE-SIZED Edward Cullen CUTOUTS!?

Me neither.


*SHUT UP, I don't really have that still. I had to melt it down once it got all tarnish-y so that it would. last. forever.


  1. I'm pretty sure that perfume has to smell like bubble gum. Right? Am I right?

  2. No, I bet it smells like Chanel No. 5 mixed with bug repellant...

  3. For your INFORMATION, it smells like HEAVEN. (Also, insecticide and rainbows.)

  4. I actually remember liking the smell of this one! I work next to a Macy's and am at their perfume counters, um, here and there.

    Sorry to hear you've regressed, but think of how much better you'll be able to do some of the stuff coming up!


  5. nothing wrong with a little rampant's good for the economy, right? RIGHT???!

  6. You're only 30? You may be too young for me to be friends with......

  7. I used to be drawn into Hot Topic by their baby onesies. But not when I was 14, more like 23.

    I don't like any perfume whatsoever, but I bet the girls would love that topper thing if you want to send it to us.


    I mean, who cares?

  9. I'm 30, but I'm really only 15!
    One thing that has me puzzled, is that if 50 is the new 30, then I shouldn't be here at all!
    Confused? I am!
    I love that perfume bottle! Very collectable, and also very cute! Now that would sit nice on my dressing table, should anyone care to buy me an early Christmas present!

  10. Pearl: It smells SO GOOD! That's why I'm tolerating the little Asian girl.

    Chelsea: EXACTLY! I'm just, you know, doing my part.

    Jules: Don't worry, I'm really ugly and have the breasts of a 95 year old. Is that better?

    erin: Hot Topic baby onesies sounds like the equivalent of Hitler opening up a candy shop. And no, your girls cannot have my toys. I'm not a good share-er.

    OWO: DUDE. That's why they invented the internet! For bumpkins like you!

    Alice: I think my inability to remember or see anything balances out the glitter and whatnot.