And I mean that in the least literal sense of the word(s).
But really, it was bad. It involved laments about infant formula. Heh.
Good thing I've got plenty of AWESOME material for you in the meantime.
So, the following exchange took place between my neighbor and me the other day:
Me: [On computer...ensuring soul's place in Hell for Sloth. Sees the following:]
[Dashes to phone, frantic.]
Plus One: What's wrong, Mommy?
Me: NO TIME, CHILD! [Texts passionately: DrCullen at the MALL. NOW.]
Neighbor: Wh-wh-WHAT?!?! WILL EDWARD BE THERE?!
Me: [Re-reads the time, checks clock. It is exactly 5:02] GOD IN HEAVEN. We missed it.
Neighbor: [Has dashed to my front door, Sharpie marker in hand, and small child tucked under arm. Child frowning. Both wear slippers. Neighbor rings bell and gets text as I open the door, slowly.]
Me: [Sad. Resigned. Somber. Strand of spaghetti from lunch in hair.] Dude. Look at us. What are we doing?!
Neighbor: [Shuffles feet.] I dunno. [DRAMATIC PAUSE.] Maybe this is for the best.
Me: [Looks to ground, kicks cat absently.] I guess.
Listen, I gotta go. My kid's calling me. [Smirks...tries to look cool.] Man, my kid is always hasslin' me, right? Heh.
Neighbor: [Shuffles child in arm-hold, looks down.] Yeah.
[I start to close the door...]
Neighbor: Hey, listen. It was good while it lasted, right? We're still cool?
Me: Yeah, dude. We're cool.*
(*We are so. not. cool.)