Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I Make Gold Records of the Dictionary Variety


I can't remember where I found this link (Gina, was it you?), but it's pretty awesome. It highlights a bunch of words that are slowly falling out of use in the English language so that you can man-up and rescue them by ripping your shirt off and diving head first into the frigid, archaic waters. You could also put them on a blog, I suppose.

But what kind of bothers me is not so much that these words are falling out of use (c'mon, they're WEIRD and DIFFERENT...many are too COLORFUL), but that certain words in the English archives are smugly secure in their dictionary listings.

So here, I will totally McCarthy those bastards. Let us band together and stone them like the proud Americans we are, shall we?

Gubernatorial.

I seriously think that much of my hatred for politicians stems from this ridiculous term. Let's ignore what that says about my intellect for the moment and focus on what's at hand: AESTHETICS. This word brings me to a place where boogers get appointed to the United Nations and everyone trips over themselves to show off how well they can cough up a loogie to impress the blobby bastard.

Guesstimate

Do I need to justify this one?! It was created by a bunch of smug, obnoxious AREN'T-WE-CUTE!-ers and now it COUNTS, people. It fucking counts.

Pedagogy

I heard this term during my MASTER studies more than I heard people telling me how awesome I am. Which, I'm sure you can surmise, was A SUPER LOT. And I still have NO FUCKING CLUE what it means, precisely. It's a vague word with a vague meaning and if you ever try to tell me that YOU understand it, I will know that you're ONE OF THEM. (And by "one of them" I mean "fucking annoying.")

Pianist.

Heh. Heh-heh. (Gross.)

Panties.

Similar to Pianist, but WORSE. Because, who really wears PANTIES? I'd rather where britches. BRITCHES. Now THAT is a word that needs to be resurrected.

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I guess I could go on for days compiling this list, and while that would count as a crazy Saturday night in Nerd-ville (or um, MY LIFE), I'll leave it at this. Feel free to add yours to the list.

PS: A decade or so ago, the term "mammock" was not a word. NOW IT IS. Just wanted to let you know that my friend Gina and I made this happen. Let us all adopt it and make it the next Paris Hilton, shall we?

PPS: I'm probably completely not remembering that story properly. But it was college, and usually all the boring bits are filtered out through evolution, people. Don't hassle me with your Jesus Fishes.

12 comments:

  1. Just when I thought I might be able to put down the laptop before noon, you tempt me with Save the Word! Damn you, Kristine! I'm definitely voting to get rid of "pedagogy"... I hate that word! I agree it was invented by supercilious academics who want to sound superior. (I hope they don't try to get rid of "supercilious!")

    And just so you know... I had to adopt three words before I could write this comment... I just couldn't resist phylactology, sceptriferous and pigritude. Seriously, how could a CatLady ignore pigritude?

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  2. I can never understand how reporters can say gubernatorial without laughing.

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  3. "Guesstimate" is a pet peeve of mine. Whenever anyone uses it, particularly in an office setting, I smile cheerfully while imagining bludgeoning them into a bloody pulp with a tire iron.

    And "panties" is just...it's always summed up seventies porn to me. It's so seedy yet cutesie. I'd never say it in real life. My parents are Brits so it was common to hear KNICKERS in my house growing up. "Got any clean knickers?!" :)

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  4. I find myself making up words more and more..the older I get. I don't know if it is that I have forgotten the proper word or I've just gone verbally insane.

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  5. Maybe you got the link from me? (I adopted foppotee and vicambulate in a post awhile back. I still love them both, especially foppotee, which means 'idiot', and SO comes in handy. )

    'Panties' should be stricken from the language.

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  6. I love the britches I have on.....

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  7. Paradigm. I remember hearing it used about eighteen million times per lecture in my first year.

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  8. CatLady: Pigritude sounds pretty badass. Nice choice. I expect to see it graffittied all over cities in a few months.

    CD: Right? I actually always thought they were mispronouncing it. Like, for a few years. I guess that would be called denial.

    Assassin: Dude, EXACTLY about the seedy/cutsie thing. Worst combo ever. And picturing you bludgeoning guesstimate-ers with a tire iron is remarkably amusing!

    @eloh: I'd vote for insanity. It has a nice ring to it.

    Vic: Maybe I did steal it from you! Sorry? My memory is pretty much nonexistent, so I think that means you can't sue me for plagiarism. *TING*

    Jules: My son sometimes tells me he has dirty britches. It's one of the funnier parts of my day.

    OMC: ICK. Yeah, that's another one I'll never use in my life because I'll never be sure what the hell it means.

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  9. 2 years ago i started taking classes on teaching english to ESL and EFL students, and in the first week i heard the word "pedagogy" like 2384328432 times but i didn't know what it meant! when i finally swallowed my pride and realized i wasn't going to glean the definition from context i looked it up and suddenly a lot of those lectures made sense. hahaha ahhh pedagogy. i'm still not sure how to pronounce it.

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  10. CatLady: Pigritude sounds pretty badass. Nice choice. I expect to see it graffittied all over cities in a few months.

    CD: Right? I actually always thought they were mispronouncing it. Like, for a few years. I guess that would be called denial.

    Assassin: Dude, EXACTLY about the seedy/cutsie thing. Worst combo ever. And picturing you bludgeoning guesstimate-ers with a tire iron is remarkably amusing!

    @eloh: I'd vote for insanity. It has a nice ring to it.

    Vic: Maybe I did steal it from you! Sorry? My memory is pretty much nonexistent, so I think that means you can't sue me for plagiarism. *TING*

    Jules: My son sometimes tells me he has dirty britches. It's one of the funnier parts of my day.

    OMC: ICK. Yeah, that's another one I'll never use in my life because I'll never be sure what the hell it means.

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  11. "Guesstimate" is a pet peeve of mine. Whenever anyone uses it, particularly in an office setting, I smile cheerfully while imagining bludgeoning them into a bloody pulp with a tire iron.

    And "panties" is just...it's always summed up seventies porn to me. It's so seedy yet cutesie. I'd never say it in real life. My parents are Brits so it was common to hear KNICKERS in my house growing up. "Got any clean knickers?!" :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I find myself making up words more and more..the older I get. I don't know if it is that I have forgotten the proper word or I've just gone verbally insane.

    ReplyDelete