But I needed a drink nonetheless. Because I was totally an emotional mess, which in itself is both sad and fucking annoying as shit. Naturally, I announced this to Twitter from my cell phone as I sat in traffic. Twitter--or my cell phone, really--was all, OOPSIES! NO CURSIES! And corrected FUCKING DRINK to DUCKING DRINK and I was all, "man, this would NEVER happen to a dude in a suit who wants some scotch."
Then I looked up and saw a dude puking out a cab window on the side of the road. At 5:00 PM. This only made my need more urgent.
Then I saw this on the car in front of me:
What the hell?
This didn't help my frustration with humanity either.
Later, while at the pharmacy, I was waiting for my son's prescription to be filled. In the waiting room, I noticed a man totally giving me second looks. I mean, I was wearing a super awesome sweater, and that Harajuku Lovers perfume (no, really) I'd just tested (ok, DOUSED MYSELF in) was probably wafting across the aisle and doing its magic. So I thought to myself, "yeah, I guess my husband IS totally that lucky, huh?!"
Then I looked down at my purse and noticed a tampon was spilling out of it and onto my lap.
For these reasons, I went home last night and had a glass of