Thursday, August 6, 2009

This Isn't (Really) a Post About Unemployment

Sooo.

I'm sure it's going to devastate so many of you, but I'm shutting The Dust Bunny Project down. That sucker is simply making our living conditions unbearable, as evidenced by the chigger infestation and Moth Man Prophecy sighting.

And the fact that it appears to be a dud. Right, there's that part, too.

__________

In other news, I'm trying to get a job as an online tutor, and let me tell you, it's becoming a moral dilemma for me. They've got me going through a screening process at the moment which so far has consisted of me "grading" essays. And, remarkably, that is now the position they're telling me I'd be testing for: Essay Grader.

Somehow "essay grader" isn't synonymous with "tutor" in my book. I'm not an editor. For students, anyway. Writers need editors, but students? Not so much. Because then I'd essentially be doing the kid's work, and he wouldn't be learning jack shit.

See? I have morals.

Unless they pay something stellar. In that case, I'M IN!

Any other job suggestions you guys have out there for me? Since you've all but stopped clicking on my damn GOOGLE ADS, you at least owe me that much.

__________

PS: My son has lost his favorite toy, "Tractor Tip" ($10 if you know what that is without Googling it!) and I will give you A MILLION DOLLARS if you please PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IT IS.

13 comments:

  1. We lost Elijah's bunny that he sleeps with every night and found it two weeks later wrapped in two doll baby blankets and a plastic grocery bag and stuffed between Maxine's bed and the wall. It was a grisly sight, and disturbing too.

    I write papers for my younger siblings and their friends. You heard it here. Big bucks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Erin. Writing papers for young lazy chaps is the way to go. I'd say one paper is about the equivalent of 2 jack-n-cokes and a tank of gas. Nothing to sniff at.

    I was guilted into clicking on your google ad about hummingbirds.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I would advertise in Craig's list or something as a tutor-- there are a lot of stupid kids out there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Is it one of the tractors from Cars? If it is then it's wedged in the back of the couch. No, I mean WEDGED. You're going to have to pull those cushions out and really push down to get that sucker out. If it's not a tractor from Cars then I don't know where it is.

    PS. If you find a good job, let me know.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My students SERIOUSLY need some help with writing. I'D LOVE to read something good for once. Take that job! Help out us Teachers!!!! That kid writing is B.O.R.I.N.G. to read.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Are you more worried about the kid learning jack.. or the the fact that you would be known as Essay Grader? You could use a really bright red font and go to town... Kind of powerful if you ask me... maybe with time you could be THE Essay Grader..

    Eh?

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Tractor is out in the field. Big Frank's protecting him.

    I used to be a tutor. I went through one of those online things originally, and it was a fucking nightmare. One parent complained that I just wasn't getting through to her daughter, but her daughter, the day before the test, said, "Oh, maybe I should learn this stuff." The stuff I told her to learn and had been working on for three weeks.

    And I was the problem.

    Eventually, it turned out, that they didn't want you to tutor. They wanted you to be a substitute teacher. I still get notices telling me I can fill in for various chemistry teachers in the area that are taking time off or whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I'm sad to see the Dust Bunny Project discontinued. I had high hopes for that little guy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am devastated by the cancellation of the Dust Bunny Project. This is worse than when ABC cancelled Men in Trees.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think you should tutor some of the COLLEGE students who applied for an internship here...who have spelling errors, call it NORDSTROMS, and make working the changing rooms at Target into a 10 paragraph missive.

    ReplyDelete
  11. it's in the last place you'll look. I'll take my milllion dollars in third-party-out-of-state check.

    I used to tutor math, tutoring isn't the greatest job in the world and it became somewhat of a moral dilema for me, since I wanted to get paid well, the only people who could pay me were the rich (or wealthy) parents of kids who didn't really need tutoring anyway...I felt bad because I didn't offer my tutoring services to the kids who needed it but couldn't afford it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I currently have "Tractor Tip" up here in Canada, tied to a chair, blind folded and most likely sexually molested and beaten. I'm willing to give it back to you for a small fee of either a) Money, b) Babies, c) Cocaine. Or a combination there of.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hi, I came over from Cat's page. Don't feel bad, no one ever clicks on my Google ads either- it sucks! I hope you find the job you are looking for!

    ReplyDelete