(That last one's not working for you, eh? How about rendezvous spot for Jon of Jon & Kate Plus Eight? Okay, good. Go with that one then.)
But serioulsy. Things are getting out of hand. First it was the frog. Then the fucking chiggers. (IN OUR BACK YARD, people! I've been locked inside for days!) But nothing can top what I saw yesterday.
Yesterday, everything was different. Pure. Innocent.
Rainbows were pretty. Unicorns, sparkly. Sun. You bet it was a'shiny. And hummingbirds? Yeah, well they WERE cute and fluttery.
THEN I SAW THIS:
I believe the scientific term is "Hummingbird-Hybrid" or "Fucking Disgusting Hummingbird Thing." Because, really?! I was raised thinking they were iridescent, lovely little things that probably shot glitter out of their mouths after they burped up a little nectar.
Not this bastard. I was pretty much muttering profanity under my breath as I clicked away with my camera. Plus One was at the door all, "Mommy! Mommy! Ca'I see?!" And I was all "AVERT YOUR EYES CHILD! HIDE THE BABY!"
When I calmed down, I Googled the little fucker and discovered he's actually a moth of sorts. But whatever. Dude clearly has some identity issues, and his, um "butterface" certainly isn't helping matters. I just hope he didn't take a dump in my little garden.
Good riddance, you sonofabitch.