Monday, August 3, 2009

Child Labor *With Update* I Have Foot Fungus!

I had some friends in town this weekend, one of which is a professional photographer. This is what happens when you invite these kind of people to your home.

That, and you hide your camera for shame.

__________

PS: TrodoMcCracken is having a giveaway of epic proportions. So hustle...wait...hussle? Is it the same word for both uses? Whatever. Go over there and sign up for her contest...

....that is, right after you help to determine what the fuck bit the shit out of my feet. All I can tell you is that it happened around a campfire in my backyard. If you tell me they're fleas, I'll kick your ass. If you make fun of my tattoo, I'll kick your ass twice. If you mention I have big feet...well, you get the picture. On with it, then.

Yeah, it's on both feet. And it's really gross. But I'm pretty much the only one allowed to say that. TAKE HEED.



15 comments:

  1. Hahahaha! I'm starting to think of you as the 'Thought Bubble Queen'.

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  2. No kidding..I don't know a "professional" photographer, but a close friend of mine is an amateur photographer, and when he gets his camera out OR when he looks at pictures I've taken...he turns into a total douche. "You should have centered it more"..."you should have stood on this side so the shadows didn't interfere." blah blah blah

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  3. Remember that movie Aliens where aliens used people as incubators?

    That's all I'm saying, except that I mean you might have aliens in your feet.

    But that's all I'm saying.

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  4. Maybe those are like mutant worm bites and now you have tiny weevel thingys wiggling under your skin. Does it itch? If it itches, they might be hatching. Then they'll eat your feet from the inside out and you'll have to walk on your hands like one of those circus freaks.

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  5. Just so we're clear: totally implying that you have a foot riddled with aliens.

    Okay then.

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  6. your foot is like the worm mothership... quietly waiting for the attack of a lifetime. warn your legs. they are next.

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  7. Yeah, looks like chiggers. Don't freak, but they have burrowed into your flesh and are laying eggs in there. Have a nice day!
    P.S. Before you cut off your own feet, try putting clear nail polish over the bites (they apparently prefer fire engine red).

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  8. I actually think chigger larvae remain on the outside of your skin and drop off in a few days when they've eaten enough. All it will do to you is make you itch like crazy. You'll probably have to clean the carpets or spray them with something though, I would think.

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  9. HOLY FUCKING SHIT PEOPLE.

    Here's what just happened. I read your comments (laughed at the alien bits) and then promptly started to freak the fuck out.

    BURROW UNDER MY SKIN?!
    FUCKING WORM EGGS?!

    Remind me to never EVER ask you guys for advice (about bugs, anyway) again.

    Looks like it is, in face, from chiggers.

    HOW-EVER. The whole burrowing/larvae/several days thing is apparently a myth. They come off when you start to itch or take a shower. Which, thankfully, I do (on occasion)...so if you'll excuse me...

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  10. Best thing for chiggers is clear nail polish on each of the itchy spots. Suffocates 'em. I guess you don't have to use clear, though. Use purple. Or black. They won't care.

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  11. Just came to you by way of Jules. you are freakin hilarious. Sorry, to hear about the chiggers. That sucks. I'm a photographer and laughed my ass off when you wiped out that pic of your friends taking shots of your baby. I will never whip out my camera unless begged for it from friends.

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  12. Just came to you by way of Jules. you are freakin hilarious. Sorry, to hear about the chiggers. That sucks. I'm a photographer and laughed my ass off when you wiped out that pic of your friends taking shots of your baby. I will never whip out my camera unless begged for it from friends.

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  13. Best thing for chiggers is clear nail polish on each of the itchy spots. Suffocates 'em. I guess you don't have to use clear, though. Use purple. Or black. They won't care.

    ReplyDelete