Thursday, July 2, 2009

It's Either the Kid or the Cats

I've recently realized that our family is facing a terrible dilemma.

You see, we'll have to move to Texas in just about a year. (No, that's not the dilemma. Though it is troubling to this native New Yorker.)

The problem is those goddamn cats. They've got terrible motion sickness. Which is to say that after about five minutes in the car, they crap and puke all over themselves. And they don't stop. What follows after they're empty is retching and death cries.
So, they don't come to Texas, right?

Well, I'm worried that Plus One might experience some devastation if the cats weren't there to torture when he wakes up in the morning. And what kind of mother would I be if I knew that and let it happen?

So WHAT DO I DO?!

1. Stunt doubles?

2. Smother them, then stuff them?

3. Cardboard cutouts?

I'd appreciate all and any suggestions. Humanity is a factor, but not the whole bag, if you know what I'm saying. (Which could be hard, because I'm not even all that sure.)

__________

PS: Miss Yvonne is having a giveaway. I'm just telling you so that I'll be entered twice. But don't you go over there and reduce my chances of winning because then I'll totally not be friends with you anymore.

Jerk.

13 comments:

  1. Texas huh? That right there just might kill a New Yorker. I can't wait for WITV a year from now.... as far as the cats, Plus One will be fine after a trip to get ice cream. Plus, cats were created by the devil himself. Don't be bringing no devil babies to Texas.

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  2. Dramamine. Depending on the size of the cat a 1/2 up to a whole pill. It's helped my animals with motion sickness (traveled from Texas to Wyoming with three cats and three dogs in two small cars - Exiciting, to say the least). If that doesn't work, the vet might be able to give them a tranquilizer shot before the drive or something to sedate/calm them down.

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  3. they make pet narcotics for motion sickness. i've seen them at pet stores and almost bought some for monster. it's like a mix of valium and dramamine so that they're assed out for like 10-12 hours. do it. i'm dying to hear about your cats all hungover.

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  4. There is supposed to be some kind of airline that is for PETS only. And I also know that there are a LOT of dramamine like things for cats. Ask your vet or check at Dr. Foster online. I have cats too. I know....

    And Texas must be the place to be. My parents are moving there this fall. I feel left out.

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  5. Two words......FedEx....Oh wait, that's one!

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  6. Get some tranquilizers from your vet...they'll sleep the whole way. That's what I did when I moved from Minnesota to Texas.

    What part of Texas are you moving to? If you're in my area, we'll have to become BFF's right away, okay?

    P.S. Thanks for linking to me, even though you told people not to leave comments so maybe I should be mad instead of thankful. But I don't live my life like that because I'm a POSITIVE person.

    P.P.S. I am not a positive person. Jerk.

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  7. Smother them and turn them into feline meat puppets.

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  8. Jerrod: A year from now, WitV could be deceased. Those are just the odds, champ.

    Kris: That sounds like hell. I'm thinking I might just bring the Vet and his bag of tricks with us for the trip.

    Lana: Over the counter?! In my hands, that'd just be dangerous. And suspicious.

    Jules: I've been begging the hub to let me just fly them. SO much easier. But we're not that high class.

    Coritco: I wish! Just poke a few holes, right?

    Miss Yvonne: Dallas-Fort Worth, woman! WE'RE MOVING IN JERK!

    TIM: I thought of this, but I can hardly clip their nails without them trying to kill me back. Might need an accomplice.

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  9. Ever see "The Incredible Journey"? ...

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  10. as a Texan in the DFW area, welcome home...it's a whole 'nother state of mind...

    as a dog lover...I have to agree with the whole FedEx thing...which the visual made me laugh.

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  11. Ever see "The Incredible Journey"? ...

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  12. There is supposed to be some kind of airline that is for PETS only. And I also know that there are a LOT of dramamine like things for cats. Ask your vet or check at Dr. Foster online. I have cats too. I know....

    And Texas must be the place to be. My parents are moving there this fall. I feel left out.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dramamine. Depending on the size of the cat a 1/2 up to a whole pill. It's helped my animals with motion sickness (traveled from Texas to Wyoming with three cats and three dogs in two small cars - Exiciting, to say the least). If that doesn't work, the vet might be able to give them a tranquilizer shot before the drive or something to sedate/calm them down.

    ReplyDelete