Thursday, July 30, 2009

Housekeeping! You Want Me Fluff Pillow?

I've been meaning to acknowledge a few things over the past few weeks, but my general tendency to, oh, I don't know--think primarily of myself?--has gotten in the way.

First, I want to say hello to my new readers.

Hi. That's pretty much the best I can do. I'm not socially graceful, and I might also be covered in baby barf at the moment. And in my pajamas. Want some coffee?

Also, I've been going through my blog reading list and whittling out the ones that don't seem to be posting much anymore. Just because I'm a neat freak. But if you've noticed and are offended, then go suck a toe, I mean JUST TELL ME and I'll apologize profusely (then maybe tell you to suck a toe in my head, because really?). Plus I've been a chump about commenting. You know, because I'm busy keeping things alive around here. So, SORRY.

But to waste some more time show my sincerity, I've made some reader appreciation awards! Of course I did! There is no protocol for this shit so you don't need to pass it on or hang it in your living room, but you should probably love it a little and maybe do a small fist pump while whispering YESSSSSSSSSS! when you first see it.

And, here we go:

For my favorite stalkers (of course I play favorites!)--you know who you are! *WINK*:



For my second-favorite stalkers (There's always next year, champ):



And for you creepers:


...AND BONUS TIME!

Who says inappropriate and unattainable romance is dead?! Here's to building an image of love that will inevitably doom and torment our future female generation!


*SWOON*

__________

Update: I show some appreciation and my "followers" start dropping like flies! Was it the pedophile van? Was that it?!

FINE. I'll shut up (a little) about Twilight. Fuckers.

13 comments:

  1. Well I'm just going to claim dibs in the back of the van for two reasons:

    One, I have an interest in the medical field, and it's obvious from the way your head fills the entire driver's side window that you have a severe case of hydrocephalus, and that is interesting to me.

    Two, candy is delicious.

    ReplyDelete
  2. That first picture looks like the A Team of paedophilia. Good work!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Miss K,
    Your artistry leaves me speechless (getting a little teary eyed). I really love how you captured Edwards sparkles so vividly...it makes me laugh a little. How long were you out there "researching" Edward pictures? hehe

    ReplyDelete
  4. your paint skills are so amazing that i wish i could make you an award to recognize that shit. but we all know that it wouldn't be half as cool as the ones with the witv trademark, nice touch.

    also, don't think i'm being all ass-kissy to make you give me an award. i'm just truly envious of your talent :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. NotBenny: As my favorite, you were a source of inspiration for the pedophile van. Wait, that came out wrong...

    Mr. London: Nothing says pedophilia like The A Team.

    Rita: If you don't leave this blog in tears, I'm doing something wrong. And, dude, why are there no screen captures of the disappointing movie sparkles?!

    Lana: Your envy is what keeps this friendship so strong. ;) <--SMILEY FACE!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, and I lost some followers too. I wouldn't worry, some people are just thin skinned!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Van Lady, I'd get into your van any day because I'm totally your BBFF and I'm pretty sure it's in my contract somewhere that I have too but just no funny stuff because I jokingly came out to The Man last night and now he's all suspicious and if he finds out I'm hanging out in a van with a creepy lady giving me candy he'd totally not believe me anymore and then I'd probably end up in jail. With Prison lesbiens.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Edward's sparkly skin........ I want sparkly skin.... because then I could say, "I am TOO a princess! Damnit - Look! I have sparkly skin!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Where can I get one of those candy vans? It would be so much fun to drive slowly past a group of kids and then speed away just as they get close. I can just picture them, running behind the van, yelling "Stop! Stop! I want candy!" It would crack me up every time. (Guess I'd never make a good pedophile, because this would be much more entertaining.)

    ReplyDelete
  10. Wow...this post went in two directions...you first invited readers into your blog...then scared them off with Edward.

    Here's a snippet of conversation that my wife and I had once that may be appropriate here:

    Wife: Why can't you be more like Edward Cullen?
    Me: You mean, fictional?

    (pass that on to your husband)

    ReplyDelete
  11. i'm going to assume i am a favorite stalker and steal that award. no one ever recognizes and appreciates the fine art of stalking at which i am a master. thanks for driving the pedophile mobile.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well I'm just going to claim dibs in the back of the van for two reasons:

    One, I have an interest in the medical field, and it's obvious from the way your head fills the entire driver's side window that you have a severe case of hydrocephalus, and that is interesting to me.

    Two, candy is delicious.

    ReplyDelete