Monday, June 8, 2009

Cornify My Love

This is my new favorite site.

Here's an example of what it does:



You're hating, aren't you? Well go try it punks. Then we'll talk. If I had the patience to put the code in my blog template, I'd have it here for you 24/7. So when you're reading a post and thinking, "ah man, this is some boring shit. What about the Michael Moore skit? That was comedic gold. She must've peaked, man. Jumped the effing shark," you can just daydream and start clicking and BOP! You've just been struck with unicorn love and suddenly my blog is your favorite, most magical, most rainbow-ish place to come on the internet. Who CARES about the writing!? This is probably a great post to test that theory out on:

Cornify

But I don't know how to get that shit set up in my sidebar. So I'm just lame instead. And by that, I mean, SOMEONE (anyone?!) please help me! I need this like I need air to breathe. Like, I can get the button to appear, but it just sits there, with no title and all mushed up against the text of my posts. I'm willing to pay lots of money for this, my dream*.

Don't forget that unicorns united me with my true love and are ultimately the cause for my two amazing spawn to be pitter-pattering around the planet. (Namely right through my amazing new flowerbeds. But that's another story.)

For bonus, here is a picture of my infamous unicorn shirt. Hawtness. I know. But ease up, kids. I'm married.



__________

*In Cheerios. Or imaginary funds.

17 comments:

  1. I just Cornifyed the shit out of your page!

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  2. Sweet! Did it work? Did it transport you to a place with rainbows and Kristine-is-awesome signs and sparkly minivans?

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  3. I'm not sure, but I think you just do the whole add a widget HTML thing and pop in the code, don't you? I would have thought it's the same as putting in a youtube vid. or something like that.

    Hey, do I have to go with rainbows and happy unicorns cornify? Where's my awesome Don Rickles making inappropriate racial remarks cornify, or the tasty marmalades from around the globe cornify, or maybe the babies with afro wigs cornify?

    I need more options.

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  4. I want Dalton from Road House beating the crap out of the locals...with My Little Pony there was well. Wippin' some local ass!!

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  5. NotBenny: Yeah, I have that much down, but I can't get it aligned properly, and have no idea how to create a heading for it...like a section in the sidebar. As for the options, I believe you should file a grievance. Those cornify people seem like stand-up citizens and would be happy to hear some constructive criticism. You know, about their unicorn widget.

    Jerrod: What's with the violence!? It's all rainbows and unicorns and my smiling heads over here!

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  6. Honestly, I'd like to see more Penis on your blog.

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  7. That unicorn looks a little sad.

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  8. Crumbs I would take that unicorn shot off your blog, people might starting rioting out of pure dark jealousy.

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  9. Cornify is my new favorite word.

    Also, I concur with Trodo. More penis, STAT.

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  10. It totally transported me there, in a sparkling minivan, guided by the follow-the-Kristine-is-awesome signs. And yes there were rainbows and they didn't make me gay like I thought.

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  11. Is that a male unicorn on that shirt? Because it looks like it is.

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  12. that unicorn shirt totally brought me back the 90's man.

    Insane.

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  13. Wow that is a super hot shirt. Also, I'm honored that the highlight of your comediac genius was featured in my blog. When they interview me about your fall into heroin addiction years from now for VH1 Behind the Blogs, I'll be all like, "She was totally great untils he wrote this sweet Michael Moore skit for my blog and realized she could never top that. And really, once you've written the best blog post ever, all that's left for you is an opium-based drug and a dirty needle."

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  14. The other site I write for is all about the unicorns so I got like a billion emails on this. I think any horse with stab powers is awesome.

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  15. I got carried away....then my cell phone rang. PETA is pissed. It seems they object to cornifying Unicorns. Who knew!

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  16. that unicorn shirt totally brought me back the 90's man.

    Insane.

    ReplyDelete
  17. NotBenny: Yeah, I have that much down, but I can't get it aligned properly, and have no idea how to create a heading for it...like a section in the sidebar. As for the options, I believe you should file a grievance. Those cornify people seem like stand-up citizens and would be happy to hear some constructive criticism. You know, about their unicorn widget.

    Jerrod: What's with the violence!? It's all rainbows and unicorns and my smiling heads over here!

    ReplyDelete