Thursday, June 25, 2009

Another, uh, "Milestone" *sniffle*

[Scene: Living room. I've just come home with swimmies for Plus One, who is suddenly scared of the pool, and a swimsuit for Momma, in an attempt to lure him back to the water.]


Me: Well, it's official.

Him: What?

Me: I bought a fat lady swimsuit.

Him: Does it have a skirt?

Me: [SOB.]

Him: [Giggle.]


Needless to say, we're going to the pool today folks. Unfortunately FORTUNATELY, there will be no pics for you.

In closing, I feel the urge to say this: It's not like I feel like I NEED the skirt, but more that I refuse to buy swimwear in November, when the selection is actually full of suits that aren't neon fucking pink or electric blue. And, really, who picks the patterns for these fats suits? Do I really want bright red and pink flowers and a fucking BLINKING SIGN that points to my thunder thighs?

Dicks.

8 comments:

  1. At least you CAN go to the pool or the beach.

    Every time I go to one of those places, people gather around staring. After a little while they start wrapping me in wet towels and patting me on the back. Inevitably, Greenpeace shows up and tries to roll me back in the water.

    *sigh*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well, look at the bright side- apparently, if you get the Amish swimsuit like Amish swimmer girl number one, it comes with a big spool of thread so you can do your looming while you are at the beach.

    Loom workery is pretty hot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had a skirted bathing suit two summers ago...but I decided to give up and buy a regular unskirted one last year. It made no difference either way. I look horrible regardless and Olivia points and laughs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. My wife bought one of those skirted swim suits, then ask me what I thought.

    That's how the fight started.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with benny.... it could also double as a pottery smock. you could do some ceramics right there on the beach. bring your own pottery wheel...thing... you could create!!

    hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  6. lol about your description of the pattern... surely it is not that bad???

    ReplyDelete
  7. At least you CAN go to the pool or the beach.

    Every time I go to one of those places, people gather around staring. After a little while they start wrapping me in wet towels and patting me on the back. Inevitably, Greenpeace shows up and tries to roll me back in the water.

    *sigh*

    ReplyDelete