Friday, May 29, 2009

The Phantom Jelly* Biter Strikes Again!

Mission effing accomplished.

For guided viewing, please consider:

1. The child pleading in the background is none other than Plus One, overdosing with the intense desire and yearning that only the candy aisle can elicit. In a 2.5 year old. Who is watching his mother "eat" candy. And can't have any. I'm kind of a bad mom sometimes.

2. Sure, I could use a manicure.

3. A two-numbered list is not a list. Just watch it.


To be honest, this was so much fucking fun that Lana and I both got hopped up on the sheer adrenaline rush of BREAKING THE LAW (or as close as these two Mommas are gonna get, anyway) that we made an UNPLANNED stop at Target to try again!

Much to our dismay, the legend of the Jelly Biter preceded us. For they were packaged in boxes:

I suggest you all get your Jelly Biting fix before they put an end to us.


*This was adapted for American participation. I have no idea what that jelly crap is that they have "across the pond." Also, it all started here.


  1. Ever since I read about the jelly biting, I've been racking my brains to try and figure out what the equivalent over here is. Alas, I think you did your best.

  2. not only did we manage to not lose all three children to police custody, but we also made two stops and were home for lunch and three motherfucking CO-ORDINATED naps, during which we proceeded to rehash our magnificent caper. we rock.

  3. Good work. I'm sure GI will be singing your praises soon. In the mean time rest assured that I am singing, dancing and grooving through then night in celebration...

  4. Nice work. Should we blame Mo for Jelly Belly's overpackaging?

  5. How do we know you didn't buy the bag and are just trying to get one of US arrested?!

  6. I was planning to be the first anerican but you girls beat me. Nothing but congratulations from me you daredevils.

  7. What if this catches on? Then Jelly Belly biters lay waste to millions of bags of Jellys. The Jelly Belly market share tanks, thousand of employs laid-off as the company tries to restructure and then files for a government Jelly Belly Bailout. Look what you did Kristine. Look what you did...

    JK, funny that you girls did that.

  8. Hahaha :D I am so proud of you both!! WTG! And extra points awarded for finding an ingenious alternative to what we call jelly!

    I hereby pass on the Phantom Jelly Biter award to you, which can be found on my blog.

    Thanks ever so much for doing it, you made my day :P ... doesn't it feel ridiculously good to do it? lol

    Have a great weekend!

  9. TIM: To be honest, I thought they WERE jelly beans she was talking about for a while. What IS that stuff anyway?!

    Lana: Right?! I'm not sure why people aren't putting us on magazine covers and shit. For the rockage; not so much the jelly (bean) biting.

    Mo: I would like to see video of this grooving, please.

    Captain Dumbass: Clearly someone tipped them off. I'm not quite sure who to suspect just yet. It's like CLUE of the blogosphere!

    CorticoWhat: Listen, if I don't see video evidence of your jelly biting in the next few weeks, I'll be sorely disappointed. As will YOU.

    Mr. C: Thanks pal. I'm sure you can top it with teeth marks in bricks of cheese or something.

    F: Who wthe hell ould want to work for a company that thinks it's okay to merge the flavor of popcorn with the consistency of a jellybean anyway?! They'll be thanking me.

    GI: The Jelly Biting Queen! It was soooo fun. Like I said, we kind of got addicted rather quickly. Thanks for the award!

  10. That was hilarious. You should post that shizz on youtube.

  11. Ever since I read about the jelly biting, I've been racking my brains to try and figure out what the equivalent over here is. Alas, I think you did your best.