Also, I've decided to give out awards to whoever wanted them, just to show that I'm not all curse words and snark ALL of the time (just most, because that's the only time people ever seem to listen, to care, to love...*sniff*)
DRUMROLL! (You better click that damn link. This is a PRESTIGIOUS awards ceremony)
The Susan Boyle Award goes toooooo:
Jerrod at The Yellow Factor!
Lana at mother hides the pearls!
ImNotBenny at, well, I'm Not Benny!
Miss Chief at (surprise) Miss Chief!
APPLAUSE AND CHEERING! (Effing click it. Don't you dare ruin
Next, we have the Richie Rich Award! And the winners aaaaahhhre:
Brian from Thanks for Playing at the Pond!
Eric from Bored Neoclassical Guy!
Mr. Condescending from So Many Losers!
MORE APPLAUSE AND CHEERING!
[Whew, it's hot in this auditorium, isn't it?]
Moving right along, I have two James Frey awards: One, for in a last-minute nomination Beeker of Beeker's Words!
And looks like there's also one here with the iNDefatigable mjenks' name on it! He's from A Crown of Thistles, people! Let's give 'em a hand!
GIGGLES AND CLAPPING I know, is he a funny SOB or what!? Go on now, get out of here you award-winnin' rascals!
And, last but not least, we've got these TWO Dora Awards for inappropriateness! By request, here's a custom award for Captain Dumbass himself, famed blogger of Us and Them! Let's give that bastard a hand!
EXTENDED OVATION! Yeah, they love the ol' Dumbass, don't they! Wear it proudly, my friend.
[Cue the orchestra]
This next and final award is being given more as a lifetime achievement award, and it's to someone who's not even here at this ceremony. Is that kind of stalkerish and needy? Perhaps, friends. Perhaps. But I know she'll show up at the after-party with liquor on her breath and entertain us all with some armpit farts. And if that's not worth an award, then I don't know what is.
STEAMY, baby! This one's for YOU!
YAYS FILL THE ROOM Aw, isn't that sweet. The little ones do connect with her writing so much, don't they.
Well, kids, thanks for coming out for the ceremony! Refreshments will be served in the cafeteria!
[And if you little bitches don't hang your awards on your blog CONSPICOUSLY and FOR ALL TIME (With links back to me, obviously. You think I do this shit for free?), I will...actually, I don't know what I'll do...my normal routine here would be to key your car or something but I'll have to revisit this since we're on the Internet and all. I'll get back to you, and when I do, it will be in a VERY THREATENING MANNER.]
*NotBenny told me so.
Oh, and PS...I'm giving myself the Cats Award, because I'm the one that has to put up with those assholes.
And, last PS: If you were late for the nomination/awards ceremony, you can pretty much make a case for yourself at any point and I'll basically give you one. Because I'm amazing like that.