Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I'm Made Up of Win* and Now SO ARE YOU!

Alright, it's WIN time, kids! First, though, I must apologize for encouraging all that nastiness over these awards. It was downright desperate inappropriate of me.

Also, I've decided to give out awards to whoever wanted them, just to show that I'm not all curse words and snark ALL of the time (just most, because that's the only time people ever seem to listen, to care, to love...*sniff*)

DRUMROLL! (You better click that damn link. This is a PRESTIGIOUS awards ceremony)

The Susan Boyle Award goes toooooo:



Jerrod at The Yellow Factor!

Lana at mother hides the pearls!

ImNotBenny at, well, I'm Not Benny!

...aaaand...

Miss Chief at (surprise) Miss Chief!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING! (Effing click it. Don't you dare ruin MY THEIR DAY.)

Next, we have the Richie Rich Award! And the winners aaaaahhhre:



Brian from Thanks for Playing at the Pond!

Eric from Bored Neoclassical Guy!

...aaaand...

Mr. Condescending from So Many Losers!

MORE APPLAUSE AND CHEERING!

[Whew, it's hot in this auditorium, isn't it?]

Moving right along, I have two James Frey awards: One, for in a last-minute nomination Beeker of Beeker's Words!

And looks like there's also one here with the iNDefatigable mjenks' name on it! He's from A Crown of Thistles, people! Let's give 'em a hand!



GIGGLES AND CLAPPING I know, is he a funny SOB or what!? Go on now, get out of here you award-winnin' rascals!

And, last but not least, we've got these TWO Dora Awards for inappropriateness! By request, here's a custom award for Captain Dumbass himself, famed blogger of Us and Them! Let's give that bastard a hand!


EXTENDED OVATION! Yeah, they love the ol' Dumbass, don't they! Wear it proudly, my friend.

[Cue the orchestra]

This next and final award is being given more as a lifetime achievement award, and it's to someone who's not even here at this ceremony. Is that kind of stalkerish and needy? Perhaps, friends. Perhaps. But I know she'll show up at the after-party with liquor on her breath and entertain us all with some armpit farts. And if that's not worth an award, then I don't know what is.

STEAMY, baby! This one's for YOU!



YAYS FILL THE ROOM Aw, isn't that sweet. The little ones do connect with her writing so much, don't they.

Well, kids, thanks for coming out for the ceremony! Refreshments will be served in the cafeteria!

[And if you little bitches don't hang your awards on your blog CONSPICOUSLY and FOR ALL TIME (With links back to me, obviously. You think I do this shit for free?), I will...actually, I don't know what I'll do...my normal routine here would be to key your car or something but I'll have to revisit this since we're on the Internet and all. I'll get back to you, and when I do, it will be in a VERY THREATENING MANNER.]

__________

*NotBenny told me so.

Oh, and PS...I'm giving myself the Cats Award, because I'm the one that has to put up with those assholes.

And, last PS: If you were late for the nomination/awards ceremony, you can pretty much make a case for yourself at any point and I'll basically give you one. Because I'm amazing like that.


19 comments:

  1. I'm happy I won, also really with minimal begging, that was too easy :)

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  2. I would like to thank the Academy but also curse the Academy because now, according to the rules, I must think of a clever way to post this amazing achievement on my blog so we can be all...network-y. I shake my fist at you Academy...but I'm sooooo happy.

    Oh Kristine.....

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  3. YAY! i'm finally a winner at something :)

    i'm going to resize that bitch right now. and thanks for giving me something to post about today, cause i was about to write about monster's fish butt.

    ps. thanks for the sound effects, i could almost picture you clapping and cheering for me.

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  4. Hooray! I'm a winner!!!!

    According to the second PS, you are to blog awards what my ex-fiancee was the blow jobs: just ask and you'll freely give them away!

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  5. holy sh*t I was just complaining to myself about never being able to win an award, and look what happened!!! I was so pissed that I had to award myself one, and Now I've got two! Your the best!!!!

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  6. Haha, these are too funny. I like the beautiful on the inside one.

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  7. Oh, Dora, always with the tummy. You tease. And the pearl bracelet. Clever you, so subtle. We all know how you get a "pearl bracelet". *wink* Explorer indeed.

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  8. Also, your awards rule. I wish I knew how to do that drawy stuff.

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  9. I held my rocked back and forth in my chair and wept tiny happy tears when I saw this award. I'm going to hand some out to some other truly inappropriate bloggers. Thank you.

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  10. Brian: That's what SHE said! (?)

    Jerrod: Do it good, or I'll key your Internet car.

    Lana: I was TOTALLY clapping and cheering for real, as I typed this post...doing little excited bounces in my living room chair. I was also doing it because it scares the cats.

    TIM: I'm pretty sure you just called me a ho. I have two things to say to you: 1. I'm not a ho. Steam Me Up, Kid (the blog) is a ho. 2. This is STRIKE TWO MISTER.

    Mr. C: Ask and you shall receive, my child.

    90's Kids: I hope the Dora one didn't offend you...if you're born in the 90s, like, I'm trying to do the math...do you still watch cartoons? Thanks for coming by, I mean!

    Steamy: You know it. H-O B-A-G. Also, you CAN follow my blog if you click at the FOLLOW THIS BLOG button above my header. Like, duh. (ho)

    Captain Dumbass: "I held my [?] [and] rocked back and forth" I'm assuming you meant "myself" here...let's not get carried away, right?

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  11. And what classy awards too. Expensive I expect.

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  12. I suddenly remembered this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4Z1BXALdwI&feature=related

    Brings a tear to my eye every time I see it.

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  13. I thought Billy Crystal was hosting these awards?

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  14. That is some damn good inappropriateness.

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  15. That was absolutely hilarious! I love anything inappropriate- it’s just fun.
    And in case you’re wondering, I came over from Zipbag of Bones page.

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  16. These awards are hilarious and inappropriate, which is the best combination since chocolate was brusquely introduced to peanut butter. I love the Susan Boyle one best.

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  17. Hahaha... these awards are exquisite! The Susan Boyle one is earning a special place in my heart though - no offense to the other inappropriate and witty awards. Great blog by the way; I'm totally in!

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  18. These awards are hilarious and inappropriate, which is the best combination since chocolate was brusquely introduced to peanut butter. I love the Susan Boyle one best.

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  19. That was absolutely hilarious! I love anything inappropriate- it’s just fun.
    And in case you’re wondering, I came over from Zipbag of Bones page.

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