I don't get the fascination with this couple. She's a bitch, whatever. He's spineless, whatever. Sounds like a few hundred couples I (pretend to) know. People are all "oh, it's because of the kids!" but shut up, because that's not the reason why 9 million people watched their show the other day.
2. I'm going to WalMart today. I know, I know. The WitV household DOESN'T SHOP AT WALMART! Except that sometimes (occasionally, RARELY), we do. And by "we" I mean, me. The husband will not go because it increases the likelihood that he'll end up imprisoned for homicidal rage. But the point to focus on here is NOT that I'm a hypocrite but that I'm going to be going on a SUPER SPECIAL COVERT OPERATION! You see, the folks over at A World So Small and Mo "Mad Dog" Stoneskin have been embarking on Phantom Jelly Biting Missions. And without any kind of cool-kids invite or friendly suggestion of "try it!" I'm going to do it too. I'm going to try to have Lana videotape that shit too, because that will be AWESOME. We will have three children under the age of three with us, as well. Which I point out for two reasons: 1. This might be impossible or the background may be filled with MOMMY! CANDY! and WAAAAHHH! 2. I think they all still fall under the realm of infantile amnesia and so this can't technically be considered a poor influence or anything like that, ok? So don't call CPS. DO tune in later to see if I've completed the mission, however.
3. I don't really have a number three at the moment. But a list of two isn't really a list. Or, I didn't want it to be lonely. (Which, I completely plagiarized from the Diamond Pewpin' Carnivore. Sure, we've only just met, but c'mon I doubt she INVENTED the phrase. Geeze. You people are so touchy. Have you already forgotten the CELEBRITIES?!)