I was going to throw up this thing I have in my drafts, but it's--GASP--about the PAST and I'm totally never talking about that shit again. EVER! (read: until I get another craving).
Instead, I'll tell you that tomorrow, I'm going to PLANT A GARDEN!(!!)
Okay, not really a garden. Flowers. I'm going to plant some flowers.
Maybe you didn't hear me. FLOWERS. OUTSIDE. DIRT.
I've never even been able to keep a fish alive. And they seem easier than flowers. Then again, there's the kids. Solve that equation, right? But we'll see. I did
I didn't buy any of that fountain stuff or anything. But I'm guessing that once you get the flowers going, the fish or whatever can smell the amazingness, and so they all grab their shit and hike upstream. Then when they find my house, they'll just start digging 'til they hit water and I guess maybe Heaven plays a roll to get the waterfalls going.
If it comes out looking any less gorgeous than this, I'm guessing it means God hates me.