Thursday, May 14, 2009

And the Gifts Start Pouring In

I didn't really expect my fame and fortune to catch on so quickly. I guess the whoring and stuff helped. And maybe now that I'm smart on paper. But also having real-life friends. That part seems to help, too.

The lovable Lana (pronounced Lah-nah, by the way...don't make that mistake or she will totally roll her eyes at you) has constructed this amazing piece of art for me, and now I'll share it so we can all be like, "holy crap! I loved SHE-RA and HE-MAN...and remember?? Did you have the castle?! And what the fuck about goddamn SKELETOR!? HE ROCKED MY ASS OFF!!"

Do you see this shit?! I'm totally getting shown up in the Paint department. I'm going to have to start posting nude photographs or something.

But lets do a little exegesis, shall we? I'm having withdrawal. Clearly I'm She-Ra because of the diploma-hat combo (but the muscles of He-Man are probably throwing you for a loop because, YES, I am strong-like-bull), and it's funny because I was thinking of wearing my winged boots to graduation on Friday. Now I'm not so sure, seeing as it's clearly been done before. Maybe I'll do the Rainbow hot-pants get up. Also, do you see how She-Ra is totally being hardcore while doing a little "Look at my hot thighs before I whip some incredible ass" look? That is completely something I would do. The sword, however? That thing looks heavier than my car, and my wrists are really weak, so maybe they'd break if I held it in that manner. I'd be more double-fisting it with lots of grunting and maybe an escaping fart. Hey, leftover nerves.

So, thanks Lana! She-Ra might have stronger wrists than I do, but at least we still have the same impeccable fashion sense!

For the Honor of Blog Skull! (Yeah, that needs some work.)


  1. you're totally she-ra and i'm he-man, not only because i like loincloths, but also because i'll be there as your backup to wreck shit when your wrists break :)

  2. I'm sorry. I got to the part where you promised to post nude pics and I kind of...blacked out. Was there anything else?

  3. She-Ra sure does have a great big....diploma.

  4.'re not wearing sauna pants to graduation?!

  5. Lana: You rock the loin cloth like WHAT. You also rock the being a kickass friend thing like what! (Awww!)

    TIM: Nope. Stay tuned. (Indefinitely)

    Mr. C: Stinkor? Did you give your action figures PET NAMES?!

    Sally-Sal: Clearly she was selected as an action figure for her brains.

    OEM: They'd totally give away any possible flatulence. Can't risk it.

    B: Thanks (? . !)

  6. She-Ra sure does have a great big....diploma.