Right?! You love it?!
But that kid. Come on, advertisement people. If you want to sell this Jetson phone, you better get rid of that red-haired chump. If I'm making some goddamn PAELLA, you bet my red-headed doofy kid is going to eat the hell out of it and LOVE IT. Ok, maybe he won't eat it or love it, but I sure as HELL will not order him a pizza just because he knows how to video text in jerk.
My version of the advertisement would probably go something like this:
Scene: Kitchen, 5pm. The mother is wearing her PJ's. She goes to the hub to play her Scrabble move, check Perez Hilton, and check her 20 new blog comments from all of the coolest bloggers ever (Shut the hell up. It's my commercial.)
She texts her husband: I LOVE THE HUB! I MEAN YOU! XOXO
(He does not respond because she has fat fingers and she has actually said I LOST THE CHUB FOR YOU! XXX At this point, he's not sure if she's having one of her episodes or is trying to be seductive. He's erring on the side of caution because that shit is not worth it.)
She texts her son: DINNER IN 20, KID.
He responds: What are we having?
She replies: FOOD. BE HAPPY IT'S NOT JETSON PELLETS.
He responds: You're the best Mom ever!
Okay, maybe this is just evidence of why I'm not in advertising. Or writing for that matter. But the moral of this story is the same. The hub is a pointless, over-marketed, (probably) ridiculously priced piece of crap that will likely short-circuit as soon as I splash my damn Paella sauce on the screen. Naturally, I'll be adding this to my Christmas list. Though, if you missed my birthday, I'll be happy to take this as retroactive payment for my birth. Thanks.