Friday, April 24, 2009

Bah Dum Bum*

I used to shop at Wal-Mart. Sure, it's all "bad for the economy" and "hates its workers" but kind of like that fast-food issue we discussed recently, I pretty much forget all that crap when I see those yellow smiley faces.

Then I got married.

The husband: This family does not shop at Wal-Mart.

Me: Uh, well, this family is on one salary?

The husband: We're talking about the greater good!

Me: Greater good? I'm your wife! I'm the greatest GOOD you're ever gonna GET!

Okay, that last part I completely plagiarized from The Incredibles. But the point is that I've been converted (mostly).

Sooo, when I drove by the big blue monster this afternoon, I felt a tinge of pride when I saw protesters at the entrance. Their sign sad something about SHAME and WAL-MART and BAD, but I couldn't read it (and text) and drive safely. Instead, I beeped to show my solidarity, complete with a thumbs up. However, because I drive like Mario Andretti (while texting) I couldn't see the guy's reaction. But guess what? I live in New York. So the lady in front of me totally made up for it. After hearing my pleasant toot (sure, it's all in the wrist) she hastily merged into the other lane, slowed her car down with jerks and screeches, and energetically beeped back (like I said, it's in the wrist) while flipping me the bird (and texting).

(She must really love Wal Mart.)


*I've gotta say, I typed this out like four times. What's the proper spelling for that you-made-a-not-so-funny-joke-so-I'm-going-to-acknowledge-it-with-a-drum-noise thing?


  1. I've seen... wait, heard The Incredibles (DVD player in the van) a million times. I could hear the dialogue as you wrote it.

  2. yeah, i give all my discount store love to target now, even though that skit from SNL seems to come true about a third of the times i make a purchase.

  3. You could just call it a "rim-shot".

    But then more perverts would find your blog...

  4. Captain Dumbass: You watch it and LOVE it, don't lie. Where IS my SUPER SUIT!?Lana: I don't know this skit...but I do know I would likely wander the town naked if it weren't for the Target clothing department.

    Jon: I'm totally telling him you said that.

    TIM: Well YOU seemed to have found it already, haven't you?

  5. You drive fast whilst texting??
    You are so my new I thought I was the only one (scoffs at people and their "responsible" driving).

    I can't spell out that sound either, but there's always the sound effect option:

  6. My guess is "padum chhh" - if you're going for a cymbal at the end. Otherwise, I don't know what you're going for.

  7. OEM: You and me, lady. We're goin' places (while texting). And love the sound effect option!

    Jeruleus: I totally forgot about the cymbal. I'm such an amateur.