Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Welp, Let's Go to the Videotape.

So, the birthday itself was kinda dump, but we celebrated early (Saturday) with some wine-tasting. That makes up for it, right? I'll save that post for later when I have the necessary accompanying images.

In place of my weekend reflection, I'll discuss CNN. I guess it's part of my compulsive behavior, because I cannot shake my reliance on this "news organization" for my daily updates on the happenings of the world. I might as well look at a damn snow-globe with a little poorly-painted earth in the middle.

Do you notice their headlines? Their poorly selected corresponding images? I'm not sure what business these people are in anymore. I'm half reading Perez-Hilton, and half, the 3rd grade reading-level articles of my local paper.

And to underscore my concerns, I've been collecting images over the past few months, probably just to add to my anxiety levels, as I'm a self-destructing kinda gal.

Let's start at the beginning:


Now, no one liked this chick. No one. Even the Republicans I know were wise enough to roll the eye a bit or change the topic of conversation whenever her name was mentioned. Except for that one girl, but she's just an idiot.

But, do you see this picture? Holy Hitler allusions, CNN! Sure she thinks global warming is "God huggin' us a little closer" or something, but she's not even remotely close to that guy. I mean, genocide aside, the guy was actually, like, intelligent, right?

Not convinced that this "news organization" is a sham? I've got more. Take this little snippet from their recent headlines:

The way I break it down is like this:

18 headlines.
7 actual news reports.
7 celebrity updates (including McCain's commentary on his daughter's love life).
4 miscellaneous lines of crap.

Or, for you visual learners:



Seriously, did they consider the inappropriateness of coupling the execution of soldiers with McCain's idiot offspring?

Sadly, I've misplaced the capture, but later that day, their 3 video profiles consisted of a clip of the murdered pastor story sandwiched by two (not one!) recaps of "The Cad" Bachelor.

It is from this highly scientific point of reference (i.e., the above enumerated research) that I conclude that this very blog is a better source of news information for the general public. At least it will entertain with less wincing, but probably not fewer nightmares.

5 comments:

  1. all i can say is THANK GOD you didn't mention that idiot lady with all the babies. any news source that rightfully eliminates her as 'news' is one worth checking out.

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  2. Jesu Mia, "that woman" is very obviously doing some kind of media ploy, and the media just goes along with it and parks outside her house.

    It lends some weight to the theory of intellectual osmosis, where being in close proximity to idiots slowly drains your brain until you're an idiot as well.

    My guess is that the news business, by covering, interviewing, and spotlighting idiots for the better part of the last 3 decades, is now a black hole of stupid, sucking the smarts and wits out of everyone near it, and run by drooling monkeys to boot. With typewriters. And it ain't Shakespeare.

    (I've gone off a bit, haven't I? Ah well)

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  3. Aren't these "news" sites determining their content by keeping track of what people click on the most and just giving us more of it? I have been trying really hard to only choose the stories I want to see more of and ignoring the tabloid type stuff. I have completely stopped looking at anything related to child abuse or decapitation of any sort. Let's see if anything changes. Nice pie chart BTW

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  4. I concur with the lot of you (spoken, in my head, with a British accent for some reason.)

    And Lisa, thanks for the kudos on my pie chart. It took me hours. You know, I did email CNN when I saw that Palin picture and it was down within the half hour (coincidence, likely), but maybe we could inundate them with "No more decapitation, mmkay?" emails.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Aren't these "news" sites determining their content by keeping track of what people click on the most and just giving us more of it? I have been trying really hard to only choose the stories I want to see more of and ignoring the tabloid type stuff. I have completely stopped looking at anything related to child abuse or decapitation of any sort. Let's see if anything changes. Nice pie chart BTW

    ReplyDelete