Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sickly


A few things:

  • Freaking cold medicine? Holy crap. I took some of that the other night because I couldn't breathe. You know, when you lay down and you can just feel your sinuses building their forces against you? Yeah, I was all waving my white flag. Or maybe it was my underwear. I looked through the medicine cabinet and all we had was that heavy duty "you're dying" or "you've got flu" or "you're a teenager out of liquor" kind. Of course, to take it, I should have also been suffering from about every other symptom under the sun, most likely including Athlete's Foot. Maybe that's why, at 3am, when I woke to feed the baby, I almost ate carpet and sent Thomas hurdling through the air like a 99-yard Hail Mary pass. Helluva drug, that cold medicine. At least I could breathe for, say, an hour or so.
  • The hubby first came home with the creeping death after a trip to Salt Lake City, Utah. Yeah, the Mormon World Headquarters, complete with temples and ski mountains. So I told him he was never allowed back there, because clearly those sneaky Mormons had determined he had the mark of the devil and were trying to obliterate him and his offspring. But then James was all, "No, but I got sick in NY. I brought it to SLC to obliterate THEM! Ha-HA!" Then I was all, "Ohhhh! Wait....then why did you give it to me?....And not the kids!" [Silence.]
  • I've already stopped thinking cold, and started thinking "plague," "cancer," and "Dr. Kevorkian" but seriously, how long does a cold freaking last?! This is a full week, tonight, and I think I've gotten worse after what I thought was my day of remission over the weekend. And naturally the WebMD walk-through of click-yes-or-no has determined I have moley heart super solar radiation cancer. Go figure.
It's probably just the Mormons still toying with me.

5 comments:

  1. i really do feel for you, i hate being sick, and i hate when it feels like you're sick forever.

    BUT, i have to point out that the picture of the mucus monsters makes me cringe a little :(

    whoever came up with that ad campaign should be shot, or at least have to deal with your plague for a minimum of 3 weeks.

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  2. Have you tried drinking a bottle of whiskey yet? I think that'd work to drive the plague right out!

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  3. Stop going to WebMD for all your ailments!

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  4. You could always get one of those squirt-something-desperate-up-your-nose snot annihilator medicines. They do work. Just have a tissue handy.

    Hope you feel better soon. Colds/Black-Death definitely suck.

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