Saturday, March 28, 2009

I'll Eat it for $10*

So my friend posted a link in Facebook recently about how fast food is terrible for you. Call me a cynic, but I've read Fast Food Nation. I know the stats. At the time, I was flipping through the pages, all, "SO GROSS!" and "OH EM GEE!" under my breath. Naturally, when I finished reading it, I was sworn off the smack for all eternity. But guess what I just ate for lunch, my brothers? You guessed it.

So I clicked on his silly little video, not because I particularly cared about the contents, but because the source was freaking diet dot com. Seriously, Unnamed Friend? You're a 30-something married man and you're reading diet dot com? Sigh. Let's move on.

Naturally, to show solidarity, I left a snarky comment to show him how much I thought he was showing his "I'm a toolbag" side.

And since it's Facebook, those Nazis alerted me to the next gajillion comments that his other friends left. Allow me to share a few paraphrased excerpts:

Unnamed friend-of-friend #1: That video changed my life. Thanks for saving me from the dark abyss of obesity, Unnamed Friend.

Unnamed friend-of-friend #2: Please share your knowledge with the world, Unnamed Friend. Lives are at stake.

Unnamed friend-of-friend #3: I'll eat it for $10.

*Thank God for Unnamed Friend #3.

In case you're interested, here's the video. There's a few versions floating around out there (one replete with gagging noises from the interviewer) but the bottom line's about the same. Consider the following guided-watching points as you are enlightened:
  • The irony of carrying that smack around in a lunchbox.
  • How often that chick says that the hamburger lady just CARRIES IT AROUND WITH HER as if they're talking about a damn chihuahua.
  • How talented of an interviewer the lady from diet dot com really is.

I've got so much more material for this one, like where I answer questions like, "Why are our children eating this?" and "What are fries made from?" but I'll put my lashing tongue away...


Ok, sorry. That was lame.
(Your mom's lame!)

Ok, seriously, stop. I'm done now.



  1. LOL- nice send up! I am trying to save lives by enlightening people, and alert them to the dangers around them. Perhaps you want to have your inside perserved but I know that the baby seals and I want to live forever. ;)

  2. i know it's gross, we all read fast food nation, but sometimes, it's so good. i agree with friend #3, thanks for keeping it real brother!

  3. Apparently if you want to live forever all you need to do is wrap your self in McDonald's hamburgers and fries!

    Come on, this woman was endorsed by Oprah's doctor - she can't be wrong

  4. I think the interviewers personality is almost 4 years old.